The result is cruel, it will alwayz end up in two situation. one happy and the other , shattered.
i'm shortlisted from the competition....
the result that i look forward to , so much so that i almost every hour check my mail . finally i decided to visit their website for answers and discovered that they had posted the list on their website.
feeling excited , carefully i find my name on the list. however it was all in vain.
deceiving myself , i check umpteen times on the list until i have left with no choice but to convinced myself that my singing SUCKS , to convinced myself that my dream will FOREVER be a fucking dream that will not be realized.
i'm shattered.
told sheralin that if this competition fails , i will focus on my study and stop having this dream.
so my dream just ends here.
while surfing the net , i realized that there are people who sang far more better than me who are not discovered yet. i guess chances for me is impossible.
i'm really convinced that my singing sucks.....or isit not?
shattered from my dreams, hopefully this would turn into a drive - a reason to make me study for good and stop dreaming for god sake.....
it hurts...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
day , night , tick , tock . END
Back to posting.....everyday seem to be less than 24h
day passes quickly, so much so that i lost track of it.
Am i losing out the fun?
i'm afraid
Today is christmas eve and i'm staying at home like before. no commotions , no laughter just peace and serenity.
well of course , during this time i should be outside having all the fun and being overwhelmed by the festive season. well as u all know ........zzzz i dun wanna be so longwinded to repeat myself over and over again , ranting and ranting about the unhappiness of my life . I'm sick already nonetheless to the ''outsiders''
day passes quickly, so much so that i lost track of it.
Am i losing out the fun?
i'm afraid
Today is christmas eve and i'm staying at home like before. no commotions , no laughter just peace and serenity.
well of course , during this time i should be outside having all the fun and being overwhelmed by the festive season. well as u all know ........zzzz i dun wanna be so longwinded to repeat myself over and over again , ranting and ranting about the unhappiness of my life . I'm sick already nonetheless to the ''outsiders''
this is not the lowest point of my life , i already get use to it , or should i say i have to get use to it therefore such thing doesn't bother much. on the contrary , i should say this is the lowest point of my relationship in my life.
date to school reopen is in countdown and more thing are there for me to get bother and frustrated.
firstly , i dunno how am i gonna face THEM when school reopen , i mean like my normal schedule will be ruined example , every morning i would seat with THEM to make myself feel comfortable before starting class but i'm unable to do so anymore , so what am i gonna do.secondly , i promised my parents and mainly myself to do well and work hard this hard . what i'm bothered about is that i am scared that my determination might fade anytime , O level is awaiting me next year , working hard definitely inevitable but i just afraid that i might lost myself and bothered about things like relation etc. haizzz i seriously hope nothing could affect my determination.
Monday, December 14, 2009
2010
had made a rather weird but good decision today.
i always wanted to watch movie with my friends however none of them are free hence i always drop the idea of watching any movie and having fun with my friends.
But 2day i went to the cinema myself , i dress up and get all ready to go. i lied to my sister saying that i watching with my friends , not knowing that my life is in total mass already. Not acting tough, just not letting another person to worried about me , i mean is like what is the point? therefore i did perform relatively well in front of my family *hidden and deceived. in addition , going alone is also to ''defeat'' my SP as well.
well thinking about it , the last time going out alone is......hmmmm nope no record at all, well i did have friends last time so going alone is impossible but now going alone might be something i must get use to.
going towards my destinations , i encounted a teenage who is sweating under the hot sun and approached me for donation for some starvation thingy
As it was too sudden , i decline and went forward. I felt rather bad for not doing so but soon after this matter slowly fade out of my mind.
after i bought everything*nachos and ticket. I check my ticket and saw a unfamiliar alphabet - seat Q.
when i went into the cinema , i search for my seat calmly but soon after that i started to frantic as i'm unable to find my seat . Finally after much effort i found my seat which is hidden in the top corner at the cinema where no one could barely notice me.
The arrangement did suit me as i somehow like to be hidden and not to be discovered by others. however one of the purpose of this outing is to ''defeeat' my SP hence i did not really like the arrangement.
about the movie i dun wish to spoil the fun for you therefore please go check it out yourself . All i can say is that is really brilliantly done showing the fear , complication and selfishness of humanity . excellent movie =)
btw after watching de movie and on the way home , the same person that called me to donate appear and ask me for donation. i really did feel very bad , he is sweating like rain and been standing for ages . however i still did not donate hahaha i very niao horz
i always wanted to watch movie with my friends however none of them are free hence i always drop the idea of watching any movie and having fun with my friends.
But 2day i went to the cinema myself , i dress up and get all ready to go. i lied to my sister saying that i watching with my friends , not knowing that my life is in total mass already. Not acting tough, just not letting another person to worried about me , i mean is like what is the point? therefore i did perform relatively well in front of my family *hidden and deceived. in addition , going alone is also to ''defeat'' my SP as well.
well thinking about it , the last time going out alone is......hmmmm nope no record at all, well i did have friends last time so going alone is impossible but now going alone might be something i must get use to.
going towards my destinations , i encounted a teenage who is sweating under the hot sun and approached me for donation for some starvation thingy
As it was too sudden , i decline and went forward. I felt rather bad for not doing so but soon after this matter slowly fade out of my mind.
after i bought everything*nachos and ticket. I check my ticket and saw a unfamiliar alphabet - seat Q.
when i went into the cinema , i search for my seat calmly but soon after that i started to frantic as i'm unable to find my seat . Finally after much effort i found my seat which is hidden in the top corner at the cinema where no one could barely notice me.
The arrangement did suit me as i somehow like to be hidden and not to be discovered by others. however one of the purpose of this outing is to ''defeeat' my SP hence i did not really like the arrangement.
about the movie i dun wish to spoil the fun for you therefore please go check it out yourself . All i can say is that is really brilliantly done showing the fear , complication and selfishness of humanity . excellent movie =)
btw after watching de movie and on the way home , the same person that called me to donate appear and ask me for donation. i really did feel very bad , he is sweating like rain and been standing for ages . however i still did not donate hahaha i very niao horz
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
i'm lost
after the nervewracking advanture aka singing competition , i'm still rather worried about the result though. my friend did tell me to stop worrying that much but i just could not settle down however i'm glad that someone is there to say such things to me.
using computer to get me out of this crazy world and settle me in a safe and comfortable pace .
As i'm using checking around and caring about my long-lost friend even though i had already said that i had long forgot them . but as i look through them , the pictures they uploads and the messages they posted just kept haunting me and bothering me.
i'm really a complex person , i don't know what i want.
i'm still caring even though i'm being hate.
i'm still keeping track behind every news of my friends.
such complicated fucking person i am
the smiles and happiness blossomed from the pictures and messages roses a deep jealousy , resentment and the pathetic me.
i felt very envious about the fun they are having when they are going out and being overwhelmed by their friends passions and love. i would always wish that i'm in the picture and being discussed in their messages
i'm really missing out the fun. not being socialize is not i chose or whatsoever.
anyway i felt rather bad about the boring outing with U today sorry that i'm unable to put a smile on you. i had already lost old me and this is just the new me. all i could do is to care and help in my best ability ......
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
camp......*positive =)
As what i had stated in my previous post , i felt totally nervous. i wore a orange jacket , a black hat and listen to the nerve calming song.
The moment i step into the school , i did felt a chilly in my spine which i could not figure out if it is the feeling of excitement or dreadfulness. whatsoever , i did felt uncomfortable when reached the school.
the school bell rang and my mind started ticking hesterically , thousands of thoughts boggles my mind and my heart started racing
the first activity was dancing in the studio and to be honest , i wasn't enjoying the dance at all but just doing for the sake of choir. This piece of dance will be packaged with our voice and will be presented to the secondary ones during the CCA fair , in addition , the dance we are gonna do are really funky which is the first time ever a choir did such thing ever especially in singapore therefore it sounded very serious and important. hence i did the dance merely for the sake of choir. Oh and just to add on horz , before we dance we will have to have some warm up and the warm-up are really extremely crazy!!! it really broke my old pile of bones *ouch..... T.T
each and every steps , each and every seconds , gradually i enjoy each moments i'm having ,more importantly the stress in me lessen and i started to more''open'' aka socialize .
next is lunch where we have chicken rice *but not nice de
after lunch we have the next activity which is also the activity that made me really open up and socialize with my CCA-mates. The activity is actually a bonding game and we have to have fun with the cooling beautiful water where we get ourselves wet and get ourselves some laughter
I dun know about the others but as for me , the bonding games really managed to
marked a bright smile behind the fake harden mask.
we spent time underneath the bright warm sun and water just fall on us with soo much of cooling sensation and joy . It was truely overwhelming.
just going out of point a bit , the absents of jinwei really bothers me AT FIRST but slowly the importance of his existance gradually faded and i'm really feel rather sorry that he miss out such fun. i dun know if he made a excuse or whatsoever , i just think that since u are already in this environment , in this ''society'' i felt that u should just let it go and stop whining about like a big baby about this and that , anyway the time left in the ''society'' is numbered.
back to the topic ,after the water thingy we went into something that does not require any motion except for our throat. we had some voice practice. even though it is kinda boring but i did learn something that is beneficial for me especially for my up-coming competition.
after the practice we went for BBQ !!!!! WOOHOOO FUN!!!!!!
We ate thousand of things over there and most importantly i do not even have to move and food just keep coming hahahahahahahazzz i'm sure gonna be fat hahahahahahahahahahahazzz
after everything we finally get to bathe!!! after bathing my friend and i go use the computer oh btw we are sleeeping in the possiblity centre horz so theres aircon!!!!
we used the computer till 2 plus and just when we wanted fall into our dreamland , my CCA-mates wanna watch some movie and we watched [10 promised to your dog] which is also the movie that i cried when i watched it some years ago.
i was soo dead beat and my body are just aching all over me but the sound of the movie just keep pushing me away from my dreamland.
until everything is off , i finally fall asleep but that time was already 3 or 4 plus liaoz and we have to assemble at 7:00
i woke up and with blurry vision i look at my watch and saw the time is already 6+ already. without hesitation i quickly got up get ready and be puncture .
after breakfast the first activity was dance again and we dance for 2hours again and managed to complete the whole choragraphy of the dance we were told to do. i totally fall in love both the dance and the song with it.
after dance we have lunch , after that we have the practise again . until 5 o'clock we are finally able to leave the school and go home .
after every single things i done during these days , the word ''camp'' in my mind had changed 360degree into something that is not as dreadful as i thought it would be.
ALSO BECAUSE OF POSTING THIS , I HAVEN SLEEP YET SINCE THE PREVIOUS NIGHT SO BE PROUD OF MY ASAP SPEED TO POST THIS FOR U TO READ =)
*overall i would like to have a camp like this again especially with my CCA-mates =)
SONG WE GONNA SING AND DANCE WITH IT!!! ENJOY PEOPLE!!! GROOVEE IT
The moment i step into the school , i did felt a chilly in my spine which i could not figure out if it is the feeling of excitement or dreadfulness. whatsoever , i did felt uncomfortable when reached the school.
the school bell rang and my mind started ticking hesterically , thousands of thoughts boggles my mind and my heart started racing
the first activity was dancing in the studio and to be honest , i wasn't enjoying the dance at all but just doing for the sake of choir. This piece of dance will be packaged with our voice and will be presented to the secondary ones during the CCA fair , in addition , the dance we are gonna do are really funky which is the first time ever a choir did such thing ever especially in singapore therefore it sounded very serious and important. hence i did the dance merely for the sake of choir. Oh and just to add on horz , before we dance we will have to have some warm up and the warm-up are really extremely crazy!!! it really broke my old pile of bones *ouch..... T.T
each and every steps , each and every seconds , gradually i enjoy each moments i'm having ,more importantly the stress in me lessen and i started to more''open'' aka socialize .
next is lunch where we have chicken rice *but not nice de
after lunch we have the next activity which is also the activity that made me really open up and socialize with my CCA-mates. The activity is actually a bonding game and we have to have fun with the cooling beautiful water where we get ourselves wet and get ourselves some laughter
I dun know about the others but as for me , the bonding games really managed to
marked a bright smile behind the fake harden mask.
we spent time underneath the bright warm sun and water just fall on us with soo much of cooling sensation and joy . It was truely overwhelming.
just going out of point a bit , the absents of jinwei really bothers me AT FIRST but slowly the importance of his existance gradually faded and i'm really feel rather sorry that he miss out such fun. i dun know if he made a excuse or whatsoever , i just think that since u are already in this environment , in this ''society'' i felt that u should just let it go and stop whining about like a big baby about this and that , anyway the time left in the ''society'' is numbered.
back to the topic ,after the water thingy we went into something that does not require any motion except for our throat. we had some voice practice. even though it is kinda boring but i did learn something that is beneficial for me especially for my up-coming competition.
after the practice we went for BBQ !!!!! WOOHOOO FUN!!!!!!
We ate thousand of things over there and most importantly i do not even have to move and food just keep coming hahahahahahahazzz i'm sure gonna be fat hahahahahahahahahahahazzz
after everything we finally get to bathe!!! after bathing my friend and i go use the computer oh btw we are sleeeping in the possiblity centre horz so theres aircon!!!!
we used the computer till 2 plus and just when we wanted fall into our dreamland , my CCA-mates wanna watch some movie and we watched [10 promised to your dog] which is also the movie that i cried when i watched it some years ago.
i was soo dead beat and my body are just aching all over me but the sound of the movie just keep pushing me away from my dreamland.
until everything is off , i finally fall asleep but that time was already 3 or 4 plus liaoz and we have to assemble at 7:00
i woke up and with blurry vision i look at my watch and saw the time is already 6+ already. without hesitation i quickly got up get ready and be puncture .
after breakfast the first activity was dance again and we dance for 2hours again and managed to complete the whole choragraphy of the dance we were told to do. i totally fall in love both the dance and the song with it.
after dance we have lunch , after that we have the practise again . until 5 o'clock we are finally able to leave the school and go home .
after every single things i done during these days , the word ''camp'' in my mind had changed 360degree into something that is not as dreadful as i thought it would be.
ALSO BECAUSE OF POSTING THIS , I HAVEN SLEEP YET SINCE THE PREVIOUS NIGHT SO BE PROUD OF MY ASAP SPEED TO POST THIS FOR U TO READ =)
*overall i would like to have a camp like this again especially with my CCA-mates =)
SONG WE GONNA SING AND DANCE WITH IT!!! ENJOY PEOPLE!!! GROOVEE IT
Saturday, December 05, 2009
upcoming events
-singing competition 9 dec 2009*
-choir camp 7&8 dec 2009
About the upcoming camp next week , i actually felt rather worried about it. i worried that something bad would happen to me on that day as it did happen to me for my previous camp. another reason is also because of my SP and one more reason is because i'll be facing my situ friends and i really dunno how am i gonna face them.
however one thing for sure is that , i definitely have to wear a mask for the 2 days 1 nights, to fake ignorance and protect myself.
i'm really terrified that something terrible would happen , i fear that the camp would end up the same as the BBQ , being left alone scarred , abused and tormented.
of course there are things that i look forward to for the camp example like singing in front of everyone and being recognized by everyone .
able to boost my confidents with all the recognitions , complement and that is what i require for my up-coming competition as well.
carefully and taking caution of what i eat so that i would not hurt my voice and ruined my ''dream''
HOPE THAT THE NEXT POST WOULD BE SOMETHING HAPPY.........
-singing competition 9 dec 2009*
-choir camp 7&8 dec 2009
About the upcoming camp next week , i actually felt rather worried about it. i worried that something bad would happen to me on that day as it did happen to me for my previous camp. another reason is also because of my SP and one more reason is because i'll be facing my situ friends and i really dunno how am i gonna face them.
however one thing for sure is that , i definitely have to wear a mask for the 2 days 1 nights, to fake ignorance and protect myself.
i'm really terrified that something terrible would happen , i fear that the camp would end up the same as the BBQ , being left alone scarred , abused and tormented.
of course there are things that i look forward to for the camp example like singing in front of everyone and being recognized by everyone .
able to boost my confidents with all the recognitions , complement and that is what i require for my up-coming competition as well.
carefully and taking caution of what i eat so that i would not hurt my voice and ruined my ''dream''
HOPE THAT THE NEXT POST WOULD BE SOMETHING HAPPY.........
Friday, November 27, 2009
staying at home , i'll alwayz feel bored however this holiday i really rejuvenated and relieved.
away from all the damn thing that made me wonder about , stress and worried. i feel really stupid , why should i even bother by what other people do anyway , such a fool i am .....
more time at home = more thinking through of things
realizing that the amount of friends i have can be counted using one hand. i was rather stunned by the amount of FRIENDS i have and i'm not talking about best friend.
situ--gone
primary school friend - one
secondary school friend - three
The only primary school friend i have , our relationship are slowly drifting away.
For secondary school friend one is secondary2 and our relationship ain't that close either, the other two , one i just started to be friends with her hence not so close .
so total up i have one FRIEND!!! woohoo
coming to such pathetic ending , i brought it upon myself. my incompetence of maintaining a friendship , my ridiculous expectations from friends and most of all because of my SP
i question myself , is it because how they neglected me , how they ignore me and how they blamed me on things that they don't know , that caused me to leave them?
As i seek for answer , i finally realized that those WERE PART of the reasons , the main reason still voice down to my SP
because of my SP , i know that my friends would felt that i am weird in some ways or another and of course i had did something that caused them to have bad impressions. therefore , i left to protect myself till the day my SP is cure.
away from all the damn thing that made me wonder about , stress and worried. i feel really stupid , why should i even bother by what other people do anyway , such a fool i am .....
more time at home = more thinking through of things
realizing that the amount of friends i have can be counted using one hand. i was rather stunned by the amount of FRIENDS i have and i'm not talking about best friend.
situ--gone
primary school friend - one
secondary school friend - three
The only primary school friend i have , our relationship are slowly drifting away.
For secondary school friend one is secondary2 and our relationship ain't that close either, the other two , one i just started to be friends with her hence not so close .
so total up i have one FRIEND!!! woohoo
coming to such pathetic ending , i brought it upon myself. my incompetence of maintaining a friendship , my ridiculous expectations from friends and most of all because of my SP
i question myself , is it because how they neglected me , how they ignore me and how they blamed me on things that they don't know , that caused me to leave them?
As i seek for answer , i finally realized that those WERE PART of the reasons , the main reason still voice down to my SP
because of my SP , i know that my friends would felt that i am weird in some ways or another and of course i had did something that caused them to have bad impressions. therefore , i left to protect myself till the day my SP is cure.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
they hate me.....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND.....
despite staying at home , more things happen than at school , things that are neither bad nor good.
i realized that I am not good at maintaining a friendship . one of my situ friend told me that she find me a jerk and irritating after getting along with my new found friend that i believed that they are true. however those words said by her made me felt like despicable bustard , i'm made to feel hollow, lonely and left alone.
is it all my fault? should i apologized?
she said that they hated me.......
i'm able to picture the scene how they bad mouth and said those the two dreading words....
all a while , i wanted to maintain a good image. i tried very hard , i make myself fake by wearing mask so that people could enjoy the way i am. all a while i tried all my best to care and help so that people would never hate and would imagine me as a person that worth to be remembered.
pursuing all these seem to be stupid , on the contrary , i failed and everyone hate me now moreover is the people that i dear and people that helped me.
am i wrong to have friends?
either on both side , i am unable to maintain a balance.
i'm really speechless now , all i'm doing seem to be wrong. i had totally lost confident , i am really afraid to make any steps anymore .
i brought it upon myself.....if saying sorry is what u want , i'll say it until u will be satisfied , until i feel like a dog with no pride and confident.
endless fear.....
yesterday(sunday), is my family gathering where all my cousins , relative etc comes to my grand's house but as because yesterday was my cousin's birthday so we went out and makan!!! i'm soo looking forward to it....yummy!!! hahahahahazz
when we had reached our destination , such coincidence, my relative had just reached as well.
Walking towards the restaurant , my uncle suddenly approached me and asked me about my study, about did i pass , did i promote etc. after i said that i did pass and promoted , He complemented me with much recognition . from there, it made me feel rather strange , because i thought that promoting was supposed to be a MUST to my family especially.
after questioning me , my uncle turned , went towards my dad and secretly told my dad something like how he asked me those question.
my family sat 2gether and my dad was sitting beside me. my dad suddenly just spoke to me something about my study again , just like my uncle and this is where i discovered the truth .
i have a cousin who is the same age as me ....my dad told me that that cousin had retained. i was really dumbfounded and rather flabbergasted. i alwayz thought that my cousin was smart as least smarter den me but i supposed what the newspaper had wrote was true. i read the newspaper a few weeks back , it stated that a lot of students mainly from schools from the west side , either drop or retained.
that news ruined my appetite more or less. i kept pondering over that news.
until when its time to go home , my family sat in the car and we started talking about the retained news. members of my family to those who do not know the news just now was shocked and felt the way i was.
gradually , they started to talk about the things that happened during the day of the collection of o level results which specifically happened to my sisters. my mum accompanied my second sis and my mum describe the scene as [cruel] this is because she saw many people broke down and tore apart during that day and that include my sister as she did not pass eng.
Quote from my mom : '' those who did well were over the moon and those who did not, even despite their effort , their future is just bleak as if falling into an endless pit.''
this sentence made me shiver and made my spine feel chilly cold.
as for my eldest sis , she is the one who is over the moon and i'm definitely felt envious about her ''happenings'' . Also , she shared with us about that she had a friend who is now 26 is only entering university now.
That moment , i could really feel the tension and the cruelty the society is.
i did feel the urge and found my drive to work hard , but at the same time i feel that everything still voiced down to why do people have to work hard , in the sense that after you work hard a word would literally comes to my mind '' then?'' or ''after that?'' i would unable to answer that.
so am i gonna blindly work towards my goals till the day i die?
what do i yearn? what do earn after that? i'm confused ......
when we had reached our destination , such coincidence, my relative had just reached as well.
Walking towards the restaurant , my uncle suddenly approached me and asked me about my study, about did i pass , did i promote etc. after i said that i did pass and promoted , He complemented me with much recognition . from there, it made me feel rather strange , because i thought that promoting was supposed to be a MUST to my family especially.
after questioning me , my uncle turned , went towards my dad and secretly told my dad something like how he asked me those question.
my family sat 2gether and my dad was sitting beside me. my dad suddenly just spoke to me something about my study again , just like my uncle and this is where i discovered the truth .
i have a cousin who is the same age as me ....my dad told me that that cousin had retained. i was really dumbfounded and rather flabbergasted. i alwayz thought that my cousin was smart as least smarter den me but i supposed what the newspaper had wrote was true. i read the newspaper a few weeks back , it stated that a lot of students mainly from schools from the west side , either drop or retained.
that news ruined my appetite more or less. i kept pondering over that news.
until when its time to go home , my family sat in the car and we started talking about the retained news. members of my family to those who do not know the news just now was shocked and felt the way i was.
gradually , they started to talk about the things that happened during the day of the collection of o level results which specifically happened to my sisters. my mum accompanied my second sis and my mum describe the scene as [cruel] this is because she saw many people broke down and tore apart during that day and that include my sister as she did not pass eng.
Quote from my mom : '' those who did well were over the moon and those who did not, even despite their effort , their future is just bleak as if falling into an endless pit.''
this sentence made me shiver and made my spine feel chilly cold.
as for my eldest sis , she is the one who is over the moon and i'm definitely felt envious about her ''happenings'' . Also , she shared with us about that she had a friend who is now 26 is only entering university now.
That moment , i could really feel the tension and the cruelty the society is.
i did feel the urge and found my drive to work hard , but at the same time i feel that everything still voiced down to why do people have to work hard , in the sense that after you work hard a word would literally comes to my mind '' then?'' or ''after that?'' i would unable to answer that.
so am i gonna blindly work towards my goals till the day i die?
what do i yearn? what do earn after that? i'm confused ......
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
beautiful experience
today, i went for CIP at the mentally disable center.
i remembered the last time i have to act and say SMALL words like '' oh very good'' , '' this way , that way'' , ''good job'' etc , that experience was definitely irritating i dun wish to talk about it. anyway , today i have to do the same . However whats different is that i enjoy it, i felt pretty elated and contented.
At the very first , what brings with me was the CIP points that i want that is all , and at de end what brings home with me is the happiness , contentment and lots of thinking-through-of-things.
when we had reached our destination , i did saw people who are ''usual'' but i remembered what my teacher said about showing our emotions hence i hid it and pouring out vague feelings to them.
when its time to interact with them , i was rather dumbfounded and would not want to act and say those SMALL words to them. i stationed at a table whereby there are 3 ''patients'' at first i did feel rather irritated as i have to act and use the words , however i gradually found out that they are really not as D**B as i thought. some are rather bright , many were fun to be with. from there , even i had to use small words to them , at the very least i did not act, i pour out my true feelings and enjoy myself.
after everything we head home and i am really contented with what i did.
one of the things i realized was '' when somethings you could not solve , think of it in other ways , dun alwayz think the matter as straight and narrow , look around and you'll discover unbelievable things or even the things you wanted to solve does not matter anymore''
i remembered the last time i have to act and say SMALL words like '' oh very good'' , '' this way , that way'' , ''good job'' etc , that experience was definitely irritating i dun wish to talk about it. anyway , today i have to do the same . However whats different is that i enjoy it, i felt pretty elated and contented.
At the very first , what brings with me was the CIP points that i want that is all , and at de end what brings home with me is the happiness , contentment and lots of thinking-through-of-things.
when we had reached our destination , i did saw people who are ''usual'' but i remembered what my teacher said about showing our emotions hence i hid it and pouring out vague feelings to them.
when its time to interact with them , i was rather dumbfounded and would not want to act and say those SMALL words to them. i stationed at a table whereby there are 3 ''patients'' at first i did feel rather irritated as i have to act and use the words , however i gradually found out that they are really not as D**B as i thought. some are rather bright , many were fun to be with. from there , even i had to use small words to them , at the very least i did not act, i pour out my true feelings and enjoy myself.
after everything we head home and i am really contented with what i did.
one of the things i realized was '' when somethings you could not solve , think of it in other ways , dun alwayz think the matter as straight and narrow , look around and you'll discover unbelievable things or even the things you wanted to solve does not matter anymore''
Thursday, November 05, 2009
i hate social
today is another terrifying social day again....but firstly i would like to thank sheralin , i know that she is trying to help me but i'm really sorry , i just could not bring myself over. but i am really grateful and thankful to you. i am really glad that i had at least told someone about it and sheralin had really boost my confident in socialing with other people that is why i would dare to go 4 this kind of social stuff but i guess i'm too fast to think that i'm ready to do so. i have to let nature take course, that is the only way......
The BBQ is really a terrifying incident...i was really traumatized by what happened there....i felt like a fool...no one care , i was really scared as if i'm at the edge of the cliff. i felt helpless.
but i could not believe that i am so foolish , so imbecile that i'm convinced that my ''friends'' would ''assist'' me but no one approached me . i felt totally naked and shamed there.
even a few days after the BBQ , i went online and visit the facebook and saw the photo of the BBQ , i have all sort of petrified flashbacks , i was haunt , screaming deperately inside and crushed..
my ''friends'' just could not understand why i behave this way , they never asked at all they just blamed and hate u *as alwayz.
i ponder over the de SP i just coould not understand why , of all people why me? my inner self is really slowly being devour by it , i am really scared.....
i finally decide to share this to my friend , is really hard to bring this up but eventually i did and i am glad that i did. i felt much better after saying. I could feel the devil inside slowly retreating....
reason why is hard to say because i pictured that once i told a person , he/she would laugh , gave u a weird expression or probably the relationship will slowly drift away.
after saying, i am sure to say that there are SOMEONE there , SOMEONE who understand.
The BBQ is really a terrifying incident...i was really traumatized by what happened there....i felt like a fool...no one care , i was really scared as if i'm at the edge of the cliff. i felt helpless.
but i could not believe that i am so foolish , so imbecile that i'm convinced that my ''friends'' would ''assist'' me but no one approached me . i felt totally naked and shamed there.
even a few days after the BBQ , i went online and visit the facebook and saw the photo of the BBQ , i have all sort of petrified flashbacks , i was haunt , screaming deperately inside and crushed..
my ''friends'' just could not understand why i behave this way , they never asked at all they just blamed and hate u *as alwayz.
i ponder over the de SP i just coould not understand why , of all people why me? my inner self is really slowly being devour by it , i am really scared.....
i finally decide to share this to my friend , is really hard to bring this up but eventually i did and i am glad that i did. i felt much better after saying. I could feel the devil inside slowly retreating....
reason why is hard to say because i pictured that once i told a person , he/she would laugh , gave u a weird expression or probably the relationship will slowly drift away.
after saying, i am sure to say that there are SOMEONE there , SOMEONE who understand.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
bleak
feeling rather complex .
happy
glad
devastated
disappointed
and soo much more
i have soo much emotions in me...so much so that i am unable to put in words
so much so that i am overwhelm by it
so much so that it is unbearable
i need , i desperately need someone whom i could open my heart to talk to , sharing my thoughts and the deepest secret hidden in my heart.
that secret is really hard to say , hard to bring up. it is slowly devouring me , rotting every single part of me but i supposed there are no one that i can REALLY rely that i can REALLY talk to .
sometimes i feel like falling in a bottomless pit , hopeless , bleak future . at times i feel the urge to destroy , everything in my way everything i saw everything i know. sick and tired......
anyway reason for feeling glad , firstly i am promoted secondly , i am really happy that my friends are all promoted mainly my situ an example could be ks , i am really worried that she might ..... but i am really happy and glad that nothing happen , i fear and worried during those days , fear that i might drop n fear that my beloved friends might drop but now i can rest my thoughts now. i am truly glad and happy .
right now i am absolutely feeling exhausted , i am really mentally tormented and physically .
i can't see whats ahead and i am terrified by this kind of uncertainty in me. but one thing for sure , what lies ahead is really depend what i do now.
but what do i want? continued to be bothered by the feelings? by my emotion? but i could not get over it no matter how i tried.
i'm truly tired......tas-ke-teh.........
happy
glad
devastated
disappointed
and soo much more
i have soo much emotions in me...so much so that i am unable to put in words
so much so that i am overwhelm by it
so much so that it is unbearable
i need , i desperately need someone whom i could open my heart to talk to , sharing my thoughts and the deepest secret hidden in my heart.
that secret is really hard to say , hard to bring up. it is slowly devouring me , rotting every single part of me but i supposed there are no one that i can REALLY rely that i can REALLY talk to .
sometimes i feel like falling in a bottomless pit , hopeless , bleak future . at times i feel the urge to destroy , everything in my way everything i saw everything i know. sick and tired......
anyway reason for feeling glad , firstly i am promoted secondly , i am really happy that my friends are all promoted mainly my situ an example could be ks , i am really worried that she might ..... but i am really happy and glad that nothing happen , i fear and worried during those days , fear that i might drop n fear that my beloved friends might drop but now i can rest my thoughts now. i am truly glad and happy .
right now i am absolutely feeling exhausted , i am really mentally tormented and physically .
i can't see whats ahead and i am terrified by this kind of uncertainty in me. but one thing for sure , what lies ahead is really depend what i do now.
but what do i want? continued to be bothered by the feelings? by my emotion? but i could not get over it no matter how i tried.
i'm truly tired......tas-ke-teh.........
Saturday, October 17, 2009
finally exam is over!!! woohoo yipee. but i fear about the result.
i fear that i might drop
i fear that it might not be in my expectation
but to be honest , i did not really put in my 100% in it. i was rather distracted during that period , but i am able to say that as compared to last time , i am much concentrated this time and i am proud of it but not soo proud.....zzzz
i alwayz knew that i can do it in fact everyone has the ability to do so. but to trigger it , is really hard, a real life example could be me =) zzzzz
haizz what had done had been done so i guess there is no use fretting over it right?
the first day after my exam , i literally just disable myself at home hahaz it soo damn shoik lorz de whole day no one at home , parent went overseas and my sister went for work and school. i play computer de almost the whole day it rock~~~especially after a stressful week
btw now i am still rather concern and disturb when people said me fat T.T therefore i sort of did a stupid survey [characteristic of a fat person] i am being very honest horz
traces of fat person did these traces happen to me
-fat person is easily sweat (not really)
-fat person breathe heavily (no)
-fat person smells (ermm)
-fat person alwayz fidget (no)
-fat person have large or enormous butt (no)
-fat person have lots of pimples (yes -.-)
-fat person eat alot (not quite ba)
-fat person have flabby arms and legs (errr...)
-some fat person are discriminated by ppl (nope)
i guess that's all i can think of ba so overall i have more no's den yes's therefore i AM NOT FAT!!!!
*am i deceiving myself.....
i fear that i might drop
i fear that it might not be in my expectation
but to be honest , i did not really put in my 100% in it. i was rather distracted during that period , but i am able to say that as compared to last time , i am much concentrated this time and i am proud of it but not soo proud.....zzzz
i alwayz knew that i can do it in fact everyone has the ability to do so. but to trigger it , is really hard, a real life example could be me =) zzzzz
haizz what had done had been done so i guess there is no use fretting over it right?
the first day after my exam , i literally just disable myself at home hahaz it soo damn shoik lorz de whole day no one at home , parent went overseas and my sister went for work and school. i play computer de almost the whole day it rock~~~especially after a stressful week
btw now i am still rather concern and disturb when people said me fat T.T therefore i sort of did a stupid survey [characteristic of a fat person] i am being very honest horz
traces of fat person did these traces happen to me
-fat person is easily sweat (not really)
-fat person breathe heavily (no)
-fat person smells (ermm)
-fat person alwayz fidget (no)
-fat person have large or enormous butt (no)
-fat person have lots of pimples (yes -.-)
-fat person eat alot (not quite ba)
-fat person have flabby arms and legs (errr...)
-some fat person are discriminated by ppl (nope)
i guess that's all i can think of ba so overall i have more no's den yes's therefore i AM NOT FAT!!!!
*am i deceiving myself.....
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
last post before exam =) (10:53)
1h and 7 min more before the day of my exam.
i know that this exam is really very crucial therefore i will definitely do my best , this is the promise i gonna make for myself in my blog. hence i hope that the up-coming post i will be posting will be something positive. wish me good luck readers....
i luv bio...i luv my bio teacher!!! because of bio , it had greatly increase the confident in me , i had scored the highest in the class .This is definitely a great recognition for me , i am proud of myself.
I KNOW I CAN DO IT.....
i had a bet with two people in my class , the first bet is to bet who gets the highest of the bio test and i did it , the prize i got is a bottle of peach tea , i know it does not cost much but it tasted sweeter den ever lol.
the second bet , is to bet who gets the best score for end of year. i really hope that it will be me.....not for the prize but also for myself my H-S-I-W-H TO HAPPEN.....
i yearn , desperately require it. i will really work hard , i'll promised myself......
photo before exam....
JIA YOU , KAN-PA-DE , ALL THE BEST , GOOD LUCK IVAN CHONG!!!!! PURSUE WHAT YOU WANTED!!!!
i know that this exam is really very crucial therefore i will definitely do my best , this is the promise i gonna make for myself in my blog. hence i hope that the up-coming post i will be posting will be something positive. wish me good luck readers....
i luv bio...i luv my bio teacher!!! because of bio , it had greatly increase the confident in me , i had scored the highest in the class .This is definitely a great recognition for me , i am proud of myself.
I KNOW I CAN DO IT.....
i had a bet with two people in my class , the first bet is to bet who gets the highest of the bio test and i did it , the prize i got is a bottle of peach tea , i know it does not cost much but it tasted sweeter den ever lol.
the second bet , is to bet who gets the best score for end of year. i really hope that it will be me.....not for the prize but also for myself my H-S-I-W-H TO HAPPEN.....
i yearn , desperately require it. i will really work hard , i'll promised myself......
photo before exam....JIA YOU , KAN-PA-DE , ALL THE BEST , GOOD LUCK IVAN CHONG!!!!! PURSUE WHAT YOU WANTED!!!!
Friday, October 02, 2009
blank
is been pretty long since i post. these days definitely happened many things. unhappiness , happiness etc
all these aren't important anymore , i do not take it to heart anymore. perhaps i had seen through it already...
i realized happiness and unhappiness is simply just a line away. it does not require much to be happy or sad it just depend on how you think and how u want to look at things. if you wanna be happy u will be , vice-versa to unhappiness.
As for me , i forget about all the things that happened around me. mainly about things that are ain't important like emotional , relationships etc.
In school i just wears a mask and pretended to be wad i am now pretended to be concerned pretended to be shocked just pretend. i felt rather nice this way i do not feel unhappy or anything.
anything that happened in schools i just forget forgive and move on. this is now the ''motto'' for me i supposed.
all i ever wanted to do , my priorities is to score well in my academy. all the things are simply just empty shell , nothing useless. just something that obstructs your way.
i realized that i had been spending too much time too much energy on searching for and maintaining good relationships with friends but it seem no avail . instead , it obstructs my way.
i had given up now. anything happened to my friends or anything , i will react on the spot but at home i would just forget again and concentrate on things that i am supposed to do. i dun care any more , it sucks caring for others when people doesn't.
i'm not feeling frustrated that why i typed this post. is simply because .........i dun know how to put into words is just how i felt .i am sick and tired of my life ....really....same routine over and over again.
sick and tired !!!! sick and tired!!! as if falling into an endless spiral. i need something, someone , somebody to get ME out .
i have a million things to rant about. but i suppress it and finally or should i say eventually, just a balloon , it burst , poof and that is the end.
all these aren't important anymore , i do not take it to heart anymore. perhaps i had seen through it already...
i realized happiness and unhappiness is simply just a line away. it does not require much to be happy or sad it just depend on how you think and how u want to look at things. if you wanna be happy u will be , vice-versa to unhappiness.
As for me , i forget about all the things that happened around me. mainly about things that are ain't important like emotional , relationships etc.
In school i just wears a mask and pretended to be wad i am now pretended to be concerned pretended to be shocked just pretend. i felt rather nice this way i do not feel unhappy or anything.
anything that happened in schools i just forget forgive and move on. this is now the ''motto'' for me i supposed.
all i ever wanted to do , my priorities is to score well in my academy. all the things are simply just empty shell , nothing useless. just something that obstructs your way.
i realized that i had been spending too much time too much energy on searching for and maintaining good relationships with friends but it seem no avail . instead , it obstructs my way.
i had given up now. anything happened to my friends or anything , i will react on the spot but at home i would just forget again and concentrate on things that i am supposed to do. i dun care any more , it sucks caring for others when people doesn't.
i'm not feeling frustrated that why i typed this post. is simply because .........i dun know how to put into words is just how i felt .i am sick and tired of my life ....really....same routine over and over again.
sick and tired !!!! sick and tired!!! as if falling into an endless spiral. i need something, someone , somebody to get ME out .
i have a million things to rant about. but i suppress it and finally or should i say eventually, just a balloon , it burst , poof and that is the end.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
accept accept accept
[HUMANS ARE GREEDY IN NATURE ]
what do you think? i personally think that it is not really true.
Thanks to the stress brought by the up-coming EYE and o-level i started to reflect on myself and started to think even more than usual.
i realized that people like us now, are practically working non-stop . who could really say wad is the end and what do u get in the end. just like us students , we worked hard from kindergartner to go to de good primary school, den primary school work hard for PSLE to go to express and go to a good school , den secondary school work hard for o-level to go to good JC or poly. den in JC or POLY to work hard to get a good job. den in the good job work hard again . so can any1 tell me how and when this cycle will end?
human are not greedy in nature, that is what i think. because of the reality that if we people do not work hard , we will be eliminated cruelly. hence people work hard , so as time goes by this becomes a habit and gradually people describe human as greedy.
i realized that i have a LONG way to go. i have to keep working hard , endlessly, since no one could really say when it will stop. i felt rather sick of it but this is reality right? i am born here. i have no choice but to accept there isn't any choice.
my teacher said something that is rather interesting and linger in my mind. she said that the purpose for all living things to live is only to reproduce only...... people who gets what i am trying to say will more or less understand what this post i talking about *i think
i am being compress by the stress given from the tons of exams , tests and more exams and test. is really irritating , i cannot see what's ahead of me except for failed exams and tests.
now , is this really wad i want in my life? my dream....is it just a dream?
what do you think? i personally think that it is not really true.
Thanks to the stress brought by the up-coming EYE and o-level i started to reflect on myself and started to think even more than usual.
i realized that people like us now, are practically working non-stop . who could really say wad is the end and what do u get in the end. just like us students , we worked hard from kindergartner to go to de good primary school, den primary school work hard for PSLE to go to express and go to a good school , den secondary school work hard for o-level to go to good JC or poly. den in JC or POLY to work hard to get a good job. den in the good job work hard again . so can any1 tell me how and when this cycle will end?
human are not greedy in nature, that is what i think. because of the reality that if we people do not work hard , we will be eliminated cruelly. hence people work hard , so as time goes by this becomes a habit and gradually people describe human as greedy.
i realized that i have a LONG way to go. i have to keep working hard , endlessly, since no one could really say when it will stop. i felt rather sick of it but this is reality right? i am born here. i have no choice but to accept there isn't any choice.
my teacher said something that is rather interesting and linger in my mind. she said that the purpose for all living things to live is only to reproduce only...... people who gets what i am trying to say will more or less understand what this post i talking about *i think
i am being compress by the stress given from the tons of exams , tests and more exams and test. is really irritating , i cannot see what's ahead of me except for failed exams and tests.
now , is this really wad i want in my life? my dream....is it just a dream?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
i love him , i love him , i love him!!! him=jesus
2day is choir again!!! and we are gonna perform a song called [i will follow him] this song is really fantastic , it really brings out the lively side of choir to the audience which is also what we want as many people responded that choir is kinda dead when performing. hence this song was perfect, but this song was really difficult to catch and 2day i was like kinda ''off'' i think , i could not sing correctly the pitch no matter how i memo and voice sound kinda croaky. just feeling weird la zzzz haizz .
btw i have a part to sing a short solo and i was kinda happy(chey) lol but I DID NOT DO IT WELL!!!! ARGHHH SOO ANGRY. another thing i realized , i start to sing with my diaphragm and de result is kinda.....ermmm how should i say ... loud? i was able to sing parts that are slightly higher without much effort but at de same time , i go louder and louder and for some reasons i could not hear myself hence , i kept going louder and louder each time. so once the song stop i realized many eyes were on me , like telling me , wth?! so loud? and i felt totally embarrassed by it. but just being curious , using diaphragm isit suppose to be like that? diao......other people(guy singer) could sing the guy key without effort at all but for me , even for the first verse already took me much effort to do so already haizzzz feeling disappointed by myself haizzz
after choir i sms seemun(no special reasons is just because she sms me first about giving back something to someone , therefore i just told her this thing dun misunderstood people!!)
she responded to me that , i sang rather well noting went wrong but to me i think that i perform pretty bad. but after she said this i thought that i should not be that negative so i sort of ignore this matter and enjoyed myself in a movie which my sis treat me.
it was a outing that had been planned kinda long but those days , we weren't free , thus it was postpone to today lorz , outing with my sis was very fun!!! cause she almost paid everything!! hahahahaz , btw she damn rich lorz , she have 300bucks last week from my relative because of her birthday but i dun have *sob
that is why i ''threaten'' her to treat me muhahahaha!!! she treat me nachos and alot of stuff la most impotantly , she sort of sponsor me to buy the comic that i really really yearn!!! the comic is called [rozen maiden]!!! and i bought de first and second volume !!! woohoooo nice nice nice!!!
hahahahazzz actually wanna buy by my own wan but very exp leh , i kept pestering my friend whether should i spent my money on it or other stuff , all commented very agitated and said 'NO YOU SHOULD NOT BUY THAT COMIC LA'' that is also why since now den i finally buy it and that is also why i felt over the moon!!! woohooo
*thx sun niu(sm)!! for not ignoring me or get frustrated when i am being such a irritant about how i perform thx thx thx!!!
btw i have a part to sing a short solo and i was kinda happy(chey) lol but I DID NOT DO IT WELL!!!! ARGHHH SOO ANGRY. another thing i realized , i start to sing with my diaphragm and de result is kinda.....ermmm how should i say ... loud? i was able to sing parts that are slightly higher without much effort but at de same time , i go louder and louder and for some reasons i could not hear myself hence , i kept going louder and louder each time. so once the song stop i realized many eyes were on me , like telling me , wth?! so loud? and i felt totally embarrassed by it. but just being curious , using diaphragm isit suppose to be like that? diao......other people(guy singer) could sing the guy key without effort at all but for me , even for the first verse already took me much effort to do so already haizzzz feeling disappointed by myself haizzz
after choir i sms seemun(no special reasons is just because she sms me first about giving back something to someone , therefore i just told her this thing dun misunderstood people!!)
she responded to me that , i sang rather well noting went wrong but to me i think that i perform pretty bad. but after she said this i thought that i should not be that negative so i sort of ignore this matter and enjoyed myself in a movie which my sis treat me.
it was a outing that had been planned kinda long but those days , we weren't free , thus it was postpone to today lorz , outing with my sis was very fun!!! cause she almost paid everything!! hahahahaz , btw she damn rich lorz , she have 300bucks last week from my relative because of her birthday but i dun have *sob
that is why i ''threaten'' her to treat me muhahahaha!!! she treat me nachos and alot of stuff la most impotantly , she sort of sponsor me to buy the comic that i really really yearn!!! the comic is called [rozen maiden]!!! and i bought de first and second volume !!! woohoooo nice nice nice!!!
hahahahazzz actually wanna buy by my own wan but very exp leh , i kept pestering my friend whether should i spent my money on it or other stuff , all commented very agitated and said 'NO YOU SHOULD NOT BUY THAT COMIC LA'' that is also why since now den i finally buy it and that is also why i felt over the moon!!! woohooo
*thx sun niu(sm)!! for not ignoring me or get frustrated when i am being such a irritant about how i perform thx thx thx!!!
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
to the person whom i hurt
Is been a long time since i post.afraid that this would continue.
actually i have tons and tons of things to write, just that when i sat in front of de com my mind was in total blank. all hatred , anger , sadness thoughts just disappeared somehow. of course some good thoughts as well too. but i supposed that this is a good thing right?
and reason being why i am posting now was because this thing had been bugging me for quite long and i believed that it is my fault.
am i thinking too much? am i being too sensitive? am i wrong?
at least being sensitive is ain't a bad thing right? anyway i wanna hereby apologize to that person whom i hurt indirectly or directly , mentally or physically.
but just to say that i dun hate any1 , i dun bear grudge and i dun discriminant any1 BECAUSE i know that i ain't no perfect person that have the frigging rights to do so. i absolutely dislike that kind of person , i said [dislike] but i will not [hate] that person. but so far i have not seen that kind of person at all hence i guess saying that i dun hate any1 is alright.
dun feel so [out] dun alwayz let loneliness be your friend cause we are your friend here
actually i have tons and tons of things to write, just that when i sat in front of de com my mind was in total blank. all hatred , anger , sadness thoughts just disappeared somehow. of course some good thoughts as well too. but i supposed that this is a good thing right?
and reason being why i am posting now was because this thing had been bugging me for quite long and i believed that it is my fault.
am i thinking too much? am i being too sensitive? am i wrong?
at least being sensitive is ain't a bad thing right? anyway i wanna hereby apologize to that person whom i hurt indirectly or directly , mentally or physically.
but just to say that i dun hate any1 , i dun bear grudge and i dun discriminant any1 BECAUSE i know that i ain't no perfect person that have the frigging rights to do so. i absolutely dislike that kind of person , i said [dislike] but i will not [hate] that person. but so far i have not seen that kind of person at all hence i guess saying that i dun hate any1 is alright.
dun feel so [out] dun alwayz let loneliness be your friend cause we are your friend here
Thursday, August 27, 2009
self-sacrifice is not a Noble thing , sacrificing for someone else and did not even try other alternate method to help the person is some one who is selfish , very selfish. sacrificing for someone only leave the miserable and guiltiness on that person , so who is suffering in the end? So sacrificing isit still a good thing?In what extend?
self-sacrifices = self satisfaction = selfish?
Monday, August 24, 2009
can YOU believe it??!!
can YOU believe itttt??? can u believe that a person is afraid of a science topic??!! not just afraid is terrified by it and will feel weak after going through the topic!! sound crazy? it is happening to me
my most feared chapter is finally here.....the topic is called [transport in human] where by u have to learn all kinds of blood , internal organ and so on . so i guess is kinda clear wad am i afraid of right?
actually i dun really know if i have a phobia of blood or wad. i just know that whenever people or teacher starts to talk about these kind of stuff i would just get weak and feel really uncomfortable as if gonna faint or something
whatsmore is that this is a very big chapter , in fact is the biggest chapter of all in my bio and the hardest
so i have two things to worried , one is i am afraid that i am unable to cope , second is HOW AM I GONNA STUDY WHEN I AM FEARED IT??!!! i guess all i could do is to confront my fear ba haizzz zzzz
seriously ...it definitely sounds pretty weird right? is like a person who is feared of this kind of thing , take biology zzz i topic whereby it concerned about the human body zzzz. but actually i have no choice lorz , cause i know i could not do well in physic whereby the machines and technical stuff are learned and i am definitely sucks in that , that why i took F&N den D&T also. so how am i gonna face my fear!!!! so much for being interested in biology now and wanted do well zzzzz den this kind of thing happen to me.... zzzzz
my most feared chapter is finally here.....the topic is called [transport in human] where by u have to learn all kinds of blood , internal organ and so on . so i guess is kinda clear wad am i afraid of right?
actually i dun really know if i have a phobia of blood or wad. i just know that whenever people or teacher starts to talk about these kind of stuff i would just get weak and feel really uncomfortable as if gonna faint or something
whatsmore is that this is a very big chapter , in fact is the biggest chapter of all in my bio and the hardest
so i have two things to worried , one is i am afraid that i am unable to cope , second is HOW AM I GONNA STUDY WHEN I AM FEARED IT??!!! i guess all i could do is to confront my fear ba haizzz zzzz
seriously ...it definitely sounds pretty weird right? is like a person who is feared of this kind of thing , take biology zzz i topic whereby it concerned about the human body zzzz. but actually i have no choice lorz , cause i know i could not do well in physic whereby the machines and technical stuff are learned and i am definitely sucks in that , that why i took F&N den D&T also. so how am i gonna face my fear!!!! so much for being interested in biology now and wanted do well zzzzz den this kind of thing happen to me.... zzzzz
i supposed i have no choice but to face lorz zzzzz good luck to me ba *people(to ks and sm)
Monday, August 17, 2009
distances between THEM......
feeling really empty 2day...i felt really uncomfortable with people that are smart and i meant really smart or at least smarter den me. i just cannot stand de atmosphere there , it really suffocate me and it is as if emphasizing my stupid-ness. i just cannot stayed there any longer that i just stood up and left.
Again , i felt de emo-ness in me once again plus some worried-ness in me. wad do i worried? i am now worried about my study now . i realized and i've sort of woke up. i realized how was i spending my days in pioneer these 3years....i felt totally disgraced 4 some reason. 2day in chem lesson we went to de lab. for some reasons bad things that is in this class is highlighted by me and i realized how stupid i was , how disgraceful to be in his class. my class may b in a express stream , on the outside looking very well covered , beautiful and honour but in fact , inside we are rotting nothing glamorous about at all. we are probably worst den people from normal stream as reflected by almost all of our teacher. i felt embarrassment in me...totally disappointed in me, nothing glorious about me hence even a most little compliment it could put a smile on me. i yearn for praises and compliment....*i am so pathetic.....
ii am soo dumb , so stupid , so idiotic , i cannot even do a simple thing well at all.i really do not wan 2 say da i hate myself or feeling myself useless or a failure but seriously isit possible? isit possible after soo many things that happened.
things that are out of my principal making me hurt and hateful after doing it....IS this what u all want? it may seem that de victim is alwayz the one who hurts but the person somehow hurts more. going against principal ,insulted, being degraced by other , being hate by other , being ignore by others. *tired....
people in my class area t least better den me in one way or another. they are either good in sports , socialised or probably able to play some instrument. but me? nothing....i dun think any1 is able to say something nice about me , something worthy ....even if he/she is able to say , i believed that it will take a long time for them to think....
going back to , i stood up and left. after i stood up and left , for the first time i start to walk aimlessly. truely aimlessly , i do not know where am i going , holding my hp , hearing sad songs and kept walking and walking. during the aimlessly walking , every steps is so hard to take , my footsteps are simply just heavy...i kept walking and walking as if waiting to go to some world that are unknown and filled with dark clouds and sadness.
every steps taken , bring billion of thoughts shooting in all direction in my mind. some thoughts are repeated over and over again endlessly.....
as i walked , i noticed that i am really used to be alone , in places which is deserted made me feel happier den.....
anyway i just felt the distance and boundary between me and people from other express classes, i felt uncomfortable now. i felt disgraceful , i felt terrible .
in addition , the people who i felt uncomfortable with today are my situ zzzzz haizz.....
*dun take this personally...is just how i feel
Again , i felt de emo-ness in me once again plus some worried-ness in me. wad do i worried? i am now worried about my study now . i realized and i've sort of woke up. i realized how was i spending my days in pioneer these 3years....i felt totally disgraced 4 some reason. 2day in chem lesson we went to de lab. for some reasons bad things that is in this class is highlighted by me and i realized how stupid i was , how disgraceful to be in his class. my class may b in a express stream , on the outside looking very well covered , beautiful and honour but in fact , inside we are rotting nothing glamorous about at all. we are probably worst den people from normal stream as reflected by almost all of our teacher. i felt embarrassment in me...totally disappointed in me, nothing glorious about me hence even a most little compliment it could put a smile on me. i yearn for praises and compliment....*i am so pathetic.....
ii am soo dumb , so stupid , so idiotic , i cannot even do a simple thing well at all.i really do not wan 2 say da i hate myself or feeling myself useless or a failure but seriously isit possible? isit possible after soo many things that happened.
things that are out of my principal making me hurt and hateful after doing it....IS this what u all want? it may seem that de victim is alwayz the one who hurts but the person somehow hurts more. going against principal ,insulted, being degraced by other , being hate by other , being ignore by others. *tired....
people in my class area t least better den me in one way or another. they are either good in sports , socialised or probably able to play some instrument. but me? nothing....i dun think any1 is able to say something nice about me , something worthy ....even if he/she is able to say , i believed that it will take a long time for them to think....
going back to , i stood up and left. after i stood up and left , for the first time i start to walk aimlessly. truely aimlessly , i do not know where am i going , holding my hp , hearing sad songs and kept walking and walking. during the aimlessly walking , every steps is so hard to take , my footsteps are simply just heavy...i kept walking and walking as if waiting to go to some world that are unknown and filled with dark clouds and sadness.
every steps taken , bring billion of thoughts shooting in all direction in my mind. some thoughts are repeated over and over again endlessly.....
as i walked , i noticed that i am really used to be alone , in places which is deserted made me feel happier den.....
anyway i just felt the distance and boundary between me and people from other express classes, i felt uncomfortable now. i felt disgraceful , i felt terrible .
in addition , the people who i felt uncomfortable with today are my situ zzzzz haizz.....
*dun take this personally...is just how i feel
Friday, August 07, 2009
recognitions...
2day is definitely de best day ever after soo many gloomy , boring and sickening days i had.
i had finally prove everyone...*
today is national day , we choir performed today and i was one of the solo-ist the feelling definitely rocks. after soo many time spent and sweat we had , we finally shown de best side of choir.
i sang 'home' and i was de first one to sing. i was supposed to stand onto the stage and sing. the minute i stood there , i felt my lips , hand , legs are trembling then as de music starts i told myself that this the best time to show off my best now . to prove everyone that i am capable !!!
throwing away all my fears and thought and just concentrate on my singing. i did not care about my surrounding at all , i was as if fall into a dark silent hall where there are no one except me singing.
i saw my teacher(s) were somehow cheering on me. one teacher i saw was my fav teacher miss Diana!!! woohoo she was like , soo happ, she cheer and it really made me feel very happy very contented.
after i sing finish my part , i felt a great contentment in me . i gave off my best and i had finally prove everyone. words just could not express my feelings. if i as giving another second to be on the stage it will be worth. i really enjoy how the people cheer me on and clap for me. i am touch.....for me , is already beyond recongnition....
the performance was a success , my hardworks paid off. after the performance i had receive many positive comments which i really yearn. my long lost positive comments finnally come back!! i feeling more confident now , now the upcoming competition (garage battle) i definitely gonna join.
i have two thoughts in my mind today , one is that is ofcourse the recognition. second is that i hope that after this performance people woould have a better impression of choir and probably change their mind to join choir. i really hope that choir would become a very popular CCA after i left.i had made a pact with seemun i dun think she rememberes it, we said that 2gether , before we left choir we must made choir very successful and popular before we left that is de only wish we bear in choir for now....hope this performance would make a different in me and in de choir....=)
i had finally prove everyone...*
today is national day , we choir performed today and i was one of the solo-ist the feelling definitely rocks. after soo many time spent and sweat we had , we finally shown de best side of choir.
i sang 'home' and i was de first one to sing. i was supposed to stand onto the stage and sing. the minute i stood there , i felt my lips , hand , legs are trembling then as de music starts i told myself that this the best time to show off my best now . to prove everyone that i am capable !!!
throwing away all my fears and thought and just concentrate on my singing. i did not care about my surrounding at all , i was as if fall into a dark silent hall where there are no one except me singing.
i saw my teacher(s) were somehow cheering on me. one teacher i saw was my fav teacher miss Diana!!! woohoo she was like , soo happ, she cheer and it really made me feel very happy very contented.
after i sing finish my part , i felt a great contentment in me . i gave off my best and i had finally prove everyone. words just could not express my feelings. if i as giving another second to be on the stage it will be worth. i really enjoy how the people cheer me on and clap for me. i am touch.....for me , is already beyond recongnition....
the performance was a success , my hardworks paid off. after the performance i had receive many positive comments which i really yearn. my long lost positive comments finnally come back!! i feeling more confident now , now the upcoming competition (garage battle) i definitely gonna join.
i have two thoughts in my mind today , one is that is ofcourse the recognition. second is that i hope that after this performance people woould have a better impression of choir and probably change their mind to join choir. i really hope that choir would become a very popular CCA after i left.i had made a pact with seemun i dun think she rememberes it, we said that 2gether , before we left choir we must made choir very successful and popular before we left that is de only wish we bear in choir for now....hope this performance would make a different in me and in de choir....=)
Monday, August 03, 2009
know the boundary.....
during sat i have my blazing race , even though we did not win anything but i felt da WE( zong sheng sheralin ,seemun , kah shin), our relationship had pulled closer , i am definitely glad about this. Really hope situ would stay like this , anyway the time we gonna spent with each other is getting lesser and lesser. is already august and before i knew it , we will be graduated. last time during my last day of my primary school i have no doubt that our relationship with my primary school friends will not drift apart no matter wad , but i wasn't sure about this anymore.....
yesterday was sunday , it was already been one week since da incident. i am somehow glad that my situ did not ask about why i cry and so on , or probably they never saw that post at all . the action i did , i did not regret at all...
but sometimes , i really wonder. why do people want to test ones's limit and force the person to do things that is out of his/her principal. when that happened , both the victim and the person are hurt. is it worth? but in fact , the person who is being force to do things that he/she do not one to do tend to hurt more den the victims. this thoughts i don't think anyone would be able to understand , they definitely did not go through this thing at all.
''i want to protect , protect people around me , protect with all my ability as i can. but why did you push me over the edge and made me do this? i want to make people happy as i can. please do not banish the last good thought in my mind ,to made everyone happy. please do not made me feel that , being a good a person is hard , impossible and definitely be hated by everyone''
H-S-I-W-H*
yesterday was sunday , it was already been one week since da incident. i am somehow glad that my situ did not ask about why i cry and so on , or probably they never saw that post at all . the action i did , i did not regret at all...
but sometimes , i really wonder. why do people want to test ones's limit and force the person to do things that is out of his/her principal. when that happened , both the victim and the person are hurt. is it worth? but in fact , the person who is being force to do things that he/she do not one to do tend to hurt more den the victims. this thoughts i don't think anyone would be able to understand , they definitely did not go through this thing at all.
''i want to protect , protect people around me , protect with all my ability as i can. but why did you push me over the edge and made me do this? i want to make people happy as i can. please do not banish the last good thought in my mind ,to made everyone happy. please do not made me feel that , being a good a person is hard , impossible and definitely be hated by everyone''
H-S-I-W-H*
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
a crazy post that people will not be able to understand
putting aside , loneliness and emo-ness. so far after the previous post , days starts to get better and better now .
i am glad that it is happening.
i am glad that i am doing my best in my study now .
i am glad that [I] have came back once again
still H-S-I-W-H.....
days are getting boring each and everyday , but look at de bright side!! i am learning something everyday or rather i should say i am discovering things everyday.
i have many thoughts in my mind again . weird stuff again . remember i said that da when i am in the class , day dreaming , i starts to have thoughts flashing in my mind that i feel like doing . i said last time that i feel like jumping down from my class room and hiding in the corner dunnno 4 wad also . i dunno why , i hav de urge in doing it leh .
now , i have thoughts da are not as scary as the previous ones . i keep that thinking that when someone is disturbing me i will act like nothing had happened den when the person draw near , i would rain my punches on him
another thoughts is that , whenever i feel embaressed due to some reason , or feel lonely or feel a need for someone to be there . i will have the thought of kneeing down on the floor , cross my arm , and think that wings suddenly comes out from my back . a beautiful blue large pair of wings spreading out from my back , the pair of wings made me feel so....safe , happiness i never had , simply just beautiful that words cannot be describe .
something like this
apart from my thoughts , i have the urge to compose a song and sang it . but i do not know how , i somehow created the ''lyric'' of my song , haven complete yet. haven thought of de melody either . it is somehow more like a poem den a song to me. it goes like this:
i am glad that it is happening.
i am glad that i am doing my best in my study now .
i am glad that [I] have came back once again
still H-S-I-W-H.....
days are getting boring each and everyday , but look at de bright side!! i am learning something everyday or rather i should say i am discovering things everyday.
i have many thoughts in my mind again . weird stuff again . remember i said that da when i am in the class , day dreaming , i starts to have thoughts flashing in my mind that i feel like doing . i said last time that i feel like jumping down from my class room and hiding in the corner dunnno 4 wad also . i dunno why , i hav de urge in doing it leh .
now , i have thoughts da are not as scary as the previous ones . i keep that thinking that when someone is disturbing me i will act like nothing had happened den when the person draw near , i would rain my punches on him
another thoughts is that , whenever i feel embaressed due to some reason , or feel lonely or feel a need for someone to be there . i will have the thought of kneeing down on the floor , cross my arm , and think that wings suddenly comes out from my back . a beautiful blue large pair of wings spreading out from my back , the pair of wings made me feel so....safe , happiness i never had , simply just beautiful that words cannot be describe .
something like this apart from my thoughts , i have the urge to compose a song and sang it . but i do not know how , i somehow created the ''lyric'' of my song , haven complete yet. haven thought of de melody either . it is somehow more like a poem den a song to me. it goes like this:
ease my pain , set me free
deep inside , kept bleeding
make it stop....
there's no one care
i'm indeed not a perfect one , i know it
i'm indeed ain't a saint , i know it
but who are you ,
who are you
to make me bleed?
emptiness , loneliness
are my friends
neglect and lonely
are my pal
i'm shattered.....
Saturday, July 18, 2009
''how am i feeling?'' i ask myself.....
this week did exceptionally alot of things . ivan decides to do hw liaoz!! not just do but putting in effort in it. i really like the feeling of doing hw and go to school with no fear and anxiety in me. i hope da this would continue.
having the urge to do well my study in me. but math.....nvm i will try hard!!! kanpateh!!
besides study , my brain thinks alot again....is really going haywire soon. during this week , i quarrelled with someone in my school. in our conversation , i really talk out points that i will not say to people . firstly , she is a person which alwayz think of herself , act like able to understand people and thinks that the world is very wonderful. i hate people like da.
-she claimed that she understand me.
-it totally made me laugh.
-no one truly able to understand me.
-no one wants to know me either.
-a person who claim that he/she is able to understand me ,
are able to describe me in one sentence or probably one word.
-insulting someone , on the appearance , who are they to u?
-and calling you to change for the better who are they to u?
in the conversation , i blurted out things about loneliness . she stated that i have no friends because of my idiotic character, probably my appearance and called me to change for de better. i replied da i do not need any friends at all , what is the point of having a friend? i do not get it now .
-friends are just someone in your life for nothing ,
-they are definitely not there when u needed them ,
-they claim that they know you but.... ,
-they unable to differentiate how u feel and what do u want.
i do not harbour anything for friendship now , so now even without them , i could live perfectly fine. anyway ''lonely'' is already part of me . ''lonely'' spend more time than my ''friends'' can u believe it? ....
sometimes want to cry it out but [I] told me not to because of the solemn promised i made . no crying , no sharing , just kept being with [lonely]. save me....
probably going crazy everyday ba , dun think any1 actually knows that. going into my sub-conscious state everytime to deal my daily life.
*i am getting fake....
relationships....haizz another problematic thing....i luv her but she dunno....i also luv her as well which one do i really feel [love] zzzz crazy crazy crazy...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
impression
PEOPLE!!! I'VE WONDERING ABOUT THE IMPRESSION I GAVE TO PEOPLE . SO,TO SATISFIED MY CURIOSITY PLS YOUR HONEST OPINION TO ME!! WELCOME ALL NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE OPINION.....*NO HARD FEELINGS...
Q1) FIRST IMPRESSION OF ME
Q2) THE IMPRESSION OF ME LAST TIME
Q3) IMPRESSION OF ME NOW
PLS GIV YOUR MOST HONEST OPINION!! THX =)
''half situ''
7eleven is the day of my idol's concert and i never go haizz... and de day where i went our with my situs . originally we were supposed to go to bugis and i got ready to buy all my stuff lorz , but because of two person we nver go .it totally ruined my plan zzden we decided to go to zs house first den go esplanade to watch firework. i went to zs house first den i waited and waited , until i think two hours later den they finally come. WTF sia feel like smacking them sia , another point da made me soo furious is da they like think that they are right lorz , still so bossy like not their problem da de bugis outing is cancel zzzz WTF curse them!! (jk) but i calm down and thought about it , i realized da , they are [girls] (excluding all my fav idol and my family and relative ) mah so why get so work up.
till 6 we proceed to go esplanade , before da we went mac and buy ice-cream(realized my dream)!!! den we toook 502 to go there. after we reached our destination , we sat down on de grass patch and wait for de firework. and something wonderful happened!!! when de firework finally started , it rained instantly clap clap clap *sarcastic so we left with de the sound of firework in our heart..... zzzz as we have nowhere to go as it was raining we decide to go marina square lorz . over there we went to de machine where there is doll and den u pick it up with de clip thingy lorz , i wasted 2 buck , zs wasted 2 buck as well , seemun not tempted , ks spent 6 -7 bucks and managed win a elmo , but she changed it into a brown colour thingy with a big mouth den some secretitive between zs and i and we laughed like crazy *pervert zs
after da we moved in front and saw a lady with alot of 1dollar coin in her pocket trying to ''own'' the machine she damn despo lorz , she like siao siao wan lorz , when we go there i already saw her change her money into 1bucks for like 4 to 5 times and each time probably changed 20bucks or more lorz . guess wad she did not even managed to catch a single shit lol she like kana dump by her BF den de money she using is her BF one lorz , den go crazy and play de machine she fking despo lorz . lol den after she left a guy came and tried less than 5 times and managed to catch it and i was like laughing in my heart lorz .
den da idiot zs horz go push push me den i trip trip de wire den de machine go blackout.... all thx to him....thx alot horz zs.. den after da we go home lorz ..it was really a nice outing luv going with situ.....=) end....
after i went home i send a message to my teacher as she was kinda worried about me as i look kinda unhappy in her class btw i promoted to a better class recently and this is wad i wrote:
miss diana , you may think that i am unhappy in your class now but actually i am not. i may seem to be looking unhappy but actually i just do not want to talk to anyone as i was afraid that i might say something wrong like , grammer mistake or some english mistake and people would think that i am not worth to be in this class. that is why i kept silent and do all my homework with all my effort and try my best not to let other people to have this thought that ivan is not worth to be in this class.i would want everyone to believe that i am worth it to be in your class.i may look very unhappy and the outside but actually i am very happy in your class as i have really learn a lot of things in your class , i know your teaching style is really suitable for people like me , that is why i enjoy your lesson very much . hope you understand......
den she replied me de next day:
Dear Ivan The reason why I asked you about your feelings is because you were not behaving as usual. I know that you are a jovial person. There is no such thing of being afraid of mistakes when you talk to people. By talking to others and participating in class work, you will learn to communicate better. It is ok to make mistakes because you will learn to correct them. You are capable of greater things. I am extremely heartened to know that you requested to join my class again. It showed that you have the motivation to do better. To me, that shows that you are willing to work hard. Thus, you deserve to be in my class. Thank you for telling me how you feel. Stay positive! Miss Diana
so happy.... so touch lol !!! pls tell me de first impression!!!
till 6 we proceed to go esplanade , before da we went mac and buy ice-cream(realized my dream)!!! den we toook 502 to go there. after we reached our destination , we sat down on de grass patch and wait for de firework. and something wonderful happened!!! when de firework finally started , it rained instantly clap clap clap *sarcastic so we left with de the sound of firework in our heart..... zzzz as we have nowhere to go as it was raining we decide to go marina square lorz . over there we went to de machine where there is doll and den u pick it up with de clip thingy lorz , i wasted 2 buck , zs wasted 2 buck as well , seemun not tempted , ks spent 6 -7 bucks and managed win a elmo , but she changed it into a brown colour thingy with a big mouth den some secretitive between zs and i and we laughed like crazy *pervert zs
after da we moved in front and saw a lady with alot of 1dollar coin in her pocket trying to ''own'' the machine she damn despo lorz , she like siao siao wan lorz , when we go there i already saw her change her money into 1bucks for like 4 to 5 times and each time probably changed 20bucks or more lorz . guess wad she did not even managed to catch a single shit lol she like kana dump by her BF den de money she using is her BF one lorz , den go crazy and play de machine she fking despo lorz . lol den after she left a guy came and tried less than 5 times and managed to catch it and i was like laughing in my heart lorz .
den da idiot zs horz go push push me den i trip trip de wire den de machine go blackout.... all thx to him....thx alot horz zs.. den after da we go home lorz ..it was really a nice outing luv going with situ.....=) end....
after i went home i send a message to my teacher as she was kinda worried about me as i look kinda unhappy in her class btw i promoted to a better class recently and this is wad i wrote:
miss diana , you may think that i am unhappy in your class now but actually i am not. i may seem to be looking unhappy but actually i just do not want to talk to anyone as i was afraid that i might say something wrong like , grammer mistake or some english mistake and people would think that i am not worth to be in this class. that is why i kept silent and do all my homework with all my effort and try my best not to let other people to have this thought that ivan is not worth to be in this class.i would want everyone to believe that i am worth it to be in your class.i may look very unhappy and the outside but actually i am very happy in your class as i have really learn a lot of things in your class , i know your teaching style is really suitable for people like me , that is why i enjoy your lesson very much . hope you understand......
den she replied me de next day:
Dear Ivan The reason why I asked you about your feelings is because you were not behaving as usual. I know that you are a jovial person. There is no such thing of being afraid of mistakes when you talk to people. By talking to others and participating in class work, you will learn to communicate better. It is ok to make mistakes because you will learn to correct them. You are capable of greater things. I am extremely heartened to know that you requested to join my class again. It showed that you have the motivation to do better. To me, that shows that you are willing to work hard. Thus, you deserve to be in my class. Thank you for telling me how you feel. Stay positive! Miss Diana
so happy.... so touch lol !!! pls tell me de first impression!!!
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Rozen Maiden
To tell the true , i did not watch finish all 3 anime on the last day of holiday ,i only manage to watched finish Card Captor Sakura . reason being is because , my computer has gone haywire liaoz , i cannot watch any video at all....but i could only watch video on youtube but the two other anime i am watching did not have it on youtube thus i could not watch lorz
but slowly , i managed to watched finish the other anime. first , i watched finish mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha/'s/striker all the season are well done overall this is a nice anime.
Today , i finally watched finish a really really nice anime that i had watched....it is called [Rozen Maiden] reason why i put this as tittle was because , when i watched finish the last episode of Rozen Maiden i really had alot of feelings lorz , and after i watched finished it , i had the same or even more urge to watch it either again or find something similar to that. i remembered the last anime that made me feel the urge was a bloody but nice anime called [claymore] it is really very nicebut as compared to Rozen Maiden , i feel that this Rozen Maiden is better beside i also think that it is even nicer than Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha ( sorry YH) . Rozen Maiden really is very nice!!!! i really dunno how to put it in words is just....aiya i say [nice] alot of times liaoz la , anyway Rozen Maiden rocks.
a bad person , came out to be a good person . a trap set by desire.a trap that cause every doll to lose their life.....a wonderful anime indeed! the following is the characters of Rozen Maiden....(some of them i did not put them in )
but slowly , i managed to watched finish the other anime. first , i watched finish mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha/'s/striker all the season are well done overall this is a nice anime.
Today , i finally watched finish a really really nice anime that i had watched....it is called [Rozen Maiden] reason why i put this as tittle was because , when i watched finish the last episode of Rozen Maiden i really had alot of feelings lorz , and after i watched finished it , i had the same or even more urge to watch it either again or find something similar to that. i remembered the last anime that made me feel the urge was a bloody but nice anime called [claymore] it is really very nicebut as compared to Rozen Maiden , i feel that this Rozen Maiden is better beside i also think that it is even nicer than Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha ( sorry YH) . Rozen Maiden really is very nice!!!! i really dunno how to put it in words is just....aiya i say [nice] alot of times liaoz la , anyway Rozen Maiden rocks.
a bad person , came out to be a good person . a trap set by desire.a trap that cause every doll to lose their life.....a wonderful anime indeed! the following is the characters of Rozen Maiden....(some of them i did not put them in )
Rozen maidens all the dolls =)
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suigintou the ''evil'' one
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shinku(the one in red) and suigintou
suiseiseki and souseiseki
shinku and barasuishou
Shinku(the one in red) and barasuishou
Monday, June 29, 2009
second day in school *bloggin in lesson time
haizzz 2day is definitely a bad day haizzz!!! let me start from the day before , yesterday night i was doing my science till very late , i actually wanted to giv up but shockly i completed quite alot of it * so proud !!! then sleep at around 1+
first thing come to school put all my valuables like psp and hp lorz den meet my friend at canteen. before lesson starts my myfriend sheralin passed me a story that our group created for our holoday assignment. the holiday assignment was to recreate the story of Romeo and Juliet , but de ending mus be de same (both mus die) . btw most of the work i do wan lorz , den sheralin help me edit nia den jw nver do anything at all argh anyway , during the first lesson which is chem , it was super boring so sianz , teacher collect hw den scold scold scold and i was looking at the time , cause i was really looking forward to my second lesson which is english . cause i wanna let my eng teacher see de story we create . i kept on looking at the time but de timme passes veri slow sia zzz . when finally is was time for english and suddenly my schoool english HOD come to our class mah den say da there will be a change in classes again. then she call the name lorz , i was in miss diana class originally but as she called the name , i heard my name and i was send into other classes....i veri angry sia!! I WANT TO BE IN MISS DIANA CLASS!!!! SOOO ANGRY T.T SO MUCH FOR LOOKING FORWARD FOR MY ENGLISH CLASS ARGH......AND THE CLASS I'VE BEEN SEND TO , I DUN REALLY LIKE IT .....I JUST CANNOT EXPLAIN WHY LA , I JUST DUN LIKE . MY FRIEND SAID THAT DA CLASS VERI SLACK ONE, AND ONCE I HEARD DA I FELT EVEN MORE WORRY AS BECAUSE I DO NOT ONE A SLACK CLASS AT ALL!! FOR ONCE , I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE HW!!!! CAUSE MISS DIANA CLASS IS DE PROBABLY DE ONLY CLASSS THAT HAS HW .
MISS D'S LESSON ARE SO INTERESTING.....ZZZZ WONDER HOW AM I GOONNA SURVIVE THE NEXT FEW MONTHS LEFT....SIANZ....
first thing come to school put all my valuables like psp and hp lorz den meet my friend at canteen. before lesson starts my myfriend sheralin passed me a story that our group created for our holoday assignment. the holiday assignment was to recreate the story of Romeo and Juliet , but de ending mus be de same (both mus die) . btw most of the work i do wan lorz , den sheralin help me edit nia den jw nver do anything at all argh anyway , during the first lesson which is chem , it was super boring so sianz , teacher collect hw den scold scold scold and i was looking at the time , cause i was really looking forward to my second lesson which is english . cause i wanna let my eng teacher see de story we create . i kept on looking at the time but de timme passes veri slow sia zzz . when finally is was time for english and suddenly my schoool english HOD come to our class mah den say da there will be a change in classes again. then she call the name lorz , i was in miss diana class originally but as she called the name , i heard my name and i was send into other classes....i veri angry sia!! I WANT TO BE IN MISS DIANA CLASS!!!! SOOO ANGRY T.T SO MUCH FOR LOOKING FORWARD FOR MY ENGLISH CLASS ARGH......AND THE CLASS I'VE BEEN SEND TO , I DUN REALLY LIKE IT .....I JUST CANNOT EXPLAIN WHY LA , I JUST DUN LIKE . MY FRIEND SAID THAT DA CLASS VERI SLACK ONE, AND ONCE I HEARD DA I FELT EVEN MORE WORRY AS BECAUSE I DO NOT ONE A SLACK CLASS AT ALL!! FOR ONCE , I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE HW!!!! CAUSE MISS DIANA CLASS IS DE PROBABLY DE ONLY CLASSS THAT HAS HW .
MISS D'S LESSON ARE SO INTERESTING.....ZZZZ WONDER HOW AM I GOONNA SURVIVE THE NEXT FEW MONTHS LEFT....SIANZ....
today is the first day of school!! and i was kinda of worried de the day before , cause i got hw never do but in de end today we did not even get scolding at all lol , i think the teacher already knew this liaoz. anyway they hav newspaper mah den i see the life section got SYZ anot den really have sia!!!!
SHE IS SOOO HOT!!!! SOO NICE THIS OUTING !!!
and she is chosen by de judge saying that she is de sexist artist among others!!! totally agree!!! beautiful!!! btw i wonder why jolin never come sia , if she comes , i wonder will de result be diff anot( of course not!!) . i think jolin is scared that she cannot win SYZ da why never come (jk) lol pretty!!! so chio!!!
luv SYZ 4ever!!!!!!!
SHE IS SOOO HOT!!!! SOO NICE THIS OUTING !!!and she is chosen by de judge saying that she is de sexist artist among others!!! totally agree!!! beautiful!!! btw i wonder why jolin never come sia , if she comes , i wonder will de result be diff anot( of course not!!) . i think jolin is scared that she cannot win SYZ da why never come (jk) lol pretty!!! so chio!!!
luv SYZ 4ever!!!!!!!
during the holiday , i did something which is super crazy!! i did the impossible!! but i am so proud that i came back alive.....
well , in the holiday i cycled with my pri school friend roy , guess where the hell did we ride to =) WE FREAKING RIDE ALL THE WAY FROM JURONG TO CHINATOWN!!!! ZZZZZ WHATSMORE WAS THAT I FELL DOWN ON THE WAY TOO , BUT I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO CARRY ON RIDING . SO WITH MY INJURY I RIDE ALL THE WAY FROM JURONG TO CHINTOWN *CLAP CLAP CLAP!!! SO PROUD=)
it is soo exhausting , both mentally and physically . plus i dun usually ride on the road mah den i first time try den i almost kana bang by a car sia zzzz scary thoughts sia . when finally we reached my ex-house jalen bukit mareh we decided to visit my pri school which is just living near by my ex-house. we went to his house and i put on medicine and plaster , and we left to go chinatown . my friend wanted to go chinatown was because that he is now a bicycle fanatic , he is totally crazy about bike , so crazy that he is willing to spent more den 2k on his bicycle zzz i can sort of understand ba , by i dun think i would go that far.
after we visited the bicycle shop at chinatown , we head home . it was already around 11+ which means that the sun is hanging high up in the sky liaoz , so on the way back , i got really really piss off!!! i really feel like throwing my bike down the building. i just wanna vent my anger on something!!! sooo piss!!! my legs are hurting , den plaster not sticky any more. my wound are getting weird colour, really feel like killing my friend next to me !! so piss!! zzzz around 1 or 2+ we reached clementi , and the weather WAS SO FKING HOT!!!! ARGH REALLY I WONDER WHY DID I EVEN FOLLOW MY FRIEND ....IN MY MIND I TOT DA CHINATOWN WAS NOT AS FAR , BUT EVEN IF IT IS FAR WITH MY INJURY . I DUN THINK ANY1 COULD TAKE IT.
anyway i used my last strength to carry me home as fast as i could. when i got home , i am like almost dying lorz , gasping for breath(jk)....veri veri tiring day but i after that i look back , i dun really bear the hatred anymore instead i am happy that i went there CAUSE I COULD LOST WEIGHT =) HAHAAHZZ
*stop saying me fat !!!!
well , in the holiday i cycled with my pri school friend roy , guess where the hell did we ride to =) WE FREAKING RIDE ALL THE WAY FROM JURONG TO CHINATOWN!!!! ZZZZZ WHATSMORE WAS THAT I FELL DOWN ON THE WAY TOO , BUT I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO CARRY ON RIDING . SO WITH MY INJURY I RIDE ALL THE WAY FROM JURONG TO CHINTOWN *CLAP CLAP CLAP!!! SO PROUD=)
it is soo exhausting , both mentally and physically . plus i dun usually ride on the road mah den i first time try den i almost kana bang by a car sia zzzz scary thoughts sia . when finally we reached my ex-house jalen bukit mareh we decided to visit my pri school which is just living near by my ex-house. we went to his house and i put on medicine and plaster , and we left to go chinatown . my friend wanted to go chinatown was because that he is now a bicycle fanatic , he is totally crazy about bike , so crazy that he is willing to spent more den 2k on his bicycle zzz i can sort of understand ba , by i dun think i would go that far.
after we visited the bicycle shop at chinatown , we head home . it was already around 11+ which means that the sun is hanging high up in the sky liaoz , so on the way back , i got really really piss off!!! i really feel like throwing my bike down the building. i just wanna vent my anger on something!!! sooo piss!!! my legs are hurting , den plaster not sticky any more. my wound are getting weird colour, really feel like killing my friend next to me !! so piss!! zzzz around 1 or 2+ we reached clementi , and the weather WAS SO FKING HOT!!!! ARGH REALLY I WONDER WHY DID I EVEN FOLLOW MY FRIEND ....IN MY MIND I TOT DA CHINATOWN WAS NOT AS FAR , BUT EVEN IF IT IS FAR WITH MY INJURY . I DUN THINK ANY1 COULD TAKE IT.
anyway i used my last strength to carry me home as fast as i could. when i got home , i am like almost dying lorz , gasping for breath(jk)....veri veri tiring day but i after that i look back , i dun really bear the hatred anymore instead i am happy that i went there CAUSE I COULD LOST WEIGHT =) HAHAAHZZ
*stop saying me fat !!!!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I WANT!!!
I WANNAS'
I WANNA COMPOSE A SONG
I WANNA TO SING OUT LOUD TO PEOPLE
I WANNA TO DO WELL IN MY STUDY (keep slacking haizz...)
I WANNA BUY ALL MY DREAM STUFF
I WANNA TO HAVE TRUE FRIENDS (true enough to share my secrets)
I WANNA TO LEARN DANCE
I WANNA LEARN SINGING
I WANNA READ STORY BOOKS
I WANNA TO BE MORE EDUCATED
I WANNA TO BE MORE SOCIALISED
I WANNA TO BE MORE HAPPY
I WANNA TO HAVE MORE MONEY
I WANNA TO WATCH SYZ CONCERT(impossible liaoz)
I WANNA SCREAM AND SHOUT AND BE HIGH EVERYTIME!!!
I WANNA TO PERFORM ON STAGE
I WANNA TO HAVE RECOGNITION
I WANNA EVERYONE TO DO AS I SAID ( a bit bossy horz)
I WANNA EVERYONE TO BELIEVE IN ME!!
I WANNA LEARN SOME INSTRUMENTS
I WANNA TO BE A ROCK STAR!!!
I WANNA TO BE A BEYOND RECOGNITION SINGER!!!
I WANNA TO BE RESPECTED BY EVERYONE!!( IMPOSSIBLE)
I WANNA TO BE ME........=)
I WANNA COMPOSE A SONG
I WANNA TO SING OUT LOUD TO PEOPLE
I WANNA TO DO WELL IN MY STUDY (keep slacking haizz...)
I WANNA BUY ALL MY DREAM STUFF
I WANNA TO HAVE TRUE FRIENDS (true enough to share my secrets)
I WANNA TO LEARN DANCE
I WANNA LEARN SINGING
I WANNA READ STORY BOOKS
I WANNA TO BE MORE EDUCATED
I WANNA TO BE MORE SOCIALISED
I WANNA TO BE MORE HAPPY
I WANNA TO HAVE MORE MONEY
I WANNA TO WATCH SYZ CONCERT(impossible liaoz)
I WANNA SCREAM AND SHOUT AND BE HIGH EVERYTIME!!!
I WANNA TO PERFORM ON STAGE
I WANNA TO HAVE RECOGNITION
I WANNA EVERYONE TO DO AS I SAID ( a bit bossy horz)
I WANNA EVERYONE TO BELIEVE IN ME!!
I WANNA LEARN SOME INSTRUMENTS
I WANNA TO BE A ROCK STAR!!!
I WANNA TO BE A BEYOND RECOGNITION SINGER!!!
I WANNA TO BE RESPECTED BY EVERYONE!!( IMPOSSIBLE)
I WANNA TO BE ME........=)
Monday, June 22, 2009
for viewers (ANIME)
for viewer who are kinda of sick of my blog due to de over content(words) of it , i will try my best to upload as many photo as i could =) so heres are some photo of the anime i am watching over de holiday =)
FIRST ANIME
__THISRES__75902)
ROZEN MAIDEN!!!
ROZEN MAIDEN AGAIN!!!!
THIS ANIME IS ABOUT DOLLS. THE PERSON WHO CREATE THESE DOLL ''FATHER'' IS WAD THEY CALLED . HE IS TRYING TO ACHIEVE ALICE , A ANGEL/PERSON WHO IS FLAWLESS IN ORDER TO DO SO , DE DOLLS HAVE TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TO ACHIEVE ALL THE ROZEN MYSTICAL TO BECOME A ALICE AND FINALLY MEET THEIR ''FATHER''
(VERY NICE!!)
ALL THE DOLLS =) ROZEN MAIDEN =)
next anime
MAHOU SHOUJO LYRICAL NANOHA !!!
mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha!!!! nice nice nice!!!!
THIS ANIME HAS 3 SEASONS , NANOHA , NANOHA 'S AND NANOHA STRIKERS I PERSONALLY LUV ALL THESE SEASON EVERY SEASON REALLY GIVES U SURPRIZES. BUT I CANNOT SUMMARY CAUSE I WERE TO SUMMARIES EVERYTHING I WOULD PROBABLY TAKE A WHOLE PAGE OF MY BLOG . IN SHORT THERE ARE TWO MAIN CHARACTER ,
fate testarossa harlaown
AND NANOHA TAKAMACHI
FIRST ANIME
ROZEN MAIDEN!!!
ROZEN MAIDEN AGAIN!!!!
THIS ANIME IS ABOUT DOLLS. THE PERSON WHO CREATE THESE DOLL ''FATHER'' IS WAD THEY CALLED . HE IS TRYING TO ACHIEVE ALICE , A ANGEL/PERSON WHO IS FLAWLESS IN ORDER TO DO SO , DE DOLLS HAVE TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TO ACHIEVE ALL THE ROZEN MYSTICAL TO BECOME A ALICE AND FINALLY MEET THEIR ''FATHER''
(VERY NICE!!)
ALL THE DOLLS =) ROZEN MAIDEN =)
next anime
MAHOU SHOUJO LYRICAL NANOHA !!!
mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha!!!! nice nice nice!!!!
THIS ANIME HAS 3 SEASONS , NANOHA , NANOHA 'S AND NANOHA STRIKERS I PERSONALLY LUV ALL THESE SEASON EVERY SEASON REALLY GIVES U SURPRIZES. BUT I CANNOT SUMMARY CAUSE I WERE TO SUMMARIES EVERYTHING I WOULD PROBABLY TAKE A WHOLE PAGE OF MY BLOG . IN SHORT THERE ARE TWO MAIN CHARACTER ,
fate testarossa harlaown
AND NANOHA TAKAMACHI
STAY ''TUNE'' TO MY BLOG FOR MORE NICE ANIME FOR ME TO INTRO TO YOU GUYS!!!THESE ANIME REALLY VERY NICE TRY AND WATCH =)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
this week , i did not spent anytime with my situ at all , except for on day with sheralin to do some homework. this week , i went out with roy de most , i enjoy it veri much . they is one outing that i love , which is da we went on a MRT tour . in other words , we sat in de MRT and jus let de train move until de terminal den ride back den take other line and ride to de terminal , this carries on till we finish going to each station. it is definitely a veri interesting experience and a veri unusual one , i think we are de first one who do this kind of thingx lol. hope to do it with ALL my situ . aiya but is impossible lorz =)
getting really cheerful now !!!
[I] am coming back*
*H-S-I-W-H
getting really cheerful now !!!
[I] am coming back*
*H-S-I-W-H
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
today actually my friend(S) are comeing but instead only friend come nia intention of coming my house was to do a eng project . the one da would not come was JW (situ) he have high fever. de other one da came was sheralin(situ). de eng project was quite interesting i somehow enjoy doing it . aiya i jus love homework da u could use ur creativity and create something but not art *even though i like to draw but my art sucks.T.T SOB....
when i received de news da JW was not coming , i was kinda worried . this is because , i somehow have a ''phobia'' i get kinda worried when i am alone with one girl nia. simply is because i personally really hate and really terrified of atmosphere which is not high and veri ''embarrass''. one example was de recent outing with YH(situ) , i dun really hav much to talk to her , YH and i are in seperated classes thus our relationship gradually not as close as before. so when i got worried , i started talking nonsense , total nonsense , something which i would really feel totally embarrass and retarded after that !!!
AHHH! *having flashback
de thoughts really make me shiver!! .... i dun usually go out with girls , ALONE but in YH case was because we were gonna watch movie mah so i tot da we won't be talking da much and plus i really wanna watch de movie also so i agreed to go lorz. oh ya de movie we watched was
[DRAG ME TO HELL]
THIS MOVIE IS FANTASTIC BUT DE 'AFTER-EFFECT'' IS QUITE STRONG , IT MADE ME FEEL KINDA SCARED EVEN THOUGH IT HAD ALREADY PAST SO MANY DAYS....BUT I RECOMMAND TO WATCH NOT BAD =)
skip to sheralin's part liaoz
anyway when i received de news da jw was not coming i was really scared and jus looking at de time , she was coming liaoz , but i waited kinda long and she still haven come . here comes a call from sheralin and guess wad , she said da she could not find de way to my house....WTF stupid -.- and plus she got come my house before lorz still forgot..... really senile ...
i quickly rushed down , find her and guild her to my house. de moment she come my house i felt kinda worried , i scared i dun hav topic to say. but after she see my fangkong , i got confident and started talking to her. and found out da she is quite a fun person to be with. lol she is really stupid lorz. crazy wan...haizzz alot of crazy stuff la asked me personally dun wanna disgrace her ....
after da we go eat mac and den she GO JP and i go home sleep ....
END =)
when i received de news da JW was not coming , i was kinda worried . this is because , i somehow have a ''phobia'' i get kinda worried when i am alone with one girl nia. simply is because i personally really hate and really terrified of atmosphere which is not high and veri ''embarrass''. one example was de recent outing with YH(situ) , i dun really hav much to talk to her , YH and i are in seperated classes thus our relationship gradually not as close as before. so when i got worried , i started talking nonsense , total nonsense , something which i would really feel totally embarrass and retarded after that !!!
AHHH! *having flashback
de thoughts really make me shiver!! .... i dun usually go out with girls , ALONE but in YH case was because we were gonna watch movie mah so i tot da we won't be talking da much and plus i really wanna watch de movie also so i agreed to go lorz. oh ya de movie we watched was
[DRAG ME TO HELL]
THIS MOVIE IS FANTASTIC BUT DE 'AFTER-EFFECT'' IS QUITE STRONG , IT MADE ME FEEL KINDA SCARED EVEN THOUGH IT HAD ALREADY PAST SO MANY DAYS....BUT I RECOMMAND TO WATCH NOT BAD =)
skip to sheralin's part liaoz
anyway when i received de news da jw was not coming i was really scared and jus looking at de time , she was coming liaoz , but i waited kinda long and she still haven come . here comes a call from sheralin and guess wad , she said da she could not find de way to my house....WTF stupid -.- and plus she got come my house before lorz still forgot..... really senile ...
i quickly rushed down , find her and guild her to my house. de moment she come my house i felt kinda worried , i scared i dun hav topic to say. but after she see my fangkong , i got confident and started talking to her. and found out da she is quite a fun person to be with. lol she is really stupid lorz. crazy wan...haizzz alot of crazy stuff la asked me personally dun wanna disgrace her ....
after da we go eat mac and den she GO JP and i go home sleep ....
END =)
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
outing with my primary school friend
went out with roy on the 9th june , very excited on this outing with him. because he was very busy , and alwayz when i am free and i ask him to go out he no free. den when i not free and he asked me to go out i am not free. haizzz da is probably de reason why ba. on that day , he did not have any CCA and i am also bored at home also it is jus de time for us to bond again, besides all my friends have many diff things to work , where got time to care me sia zzzz
anyway one that day , we went to jurong point. motive going there? nothing, go there for fun. firstly, we went to buy de [SHILIN]stuff , i bought a muchroom cheese egg crep!!!! my favourite food!!! simply jus soo nice!!! yummy. while roy bought de XXL chicken thingy , and he also told de person to add more chilli and in de end , de whole chicken is soo spicy and hot , roy eat until de tears like gonnna come out lorz so funny .
den de first shop we went was de book store , he went to de sport section while i went to de biography section. skip skip skip i go to de CD shop lorz never buy any thing jus window shopping , quite sianz la but as long time nevr go out with him liaoz den i nvm lorz. actually we go jurong is to jus waste time nia la , to waste time until it was time for dinner , cause he say he wanna intro me go eat at novena , a malaysian or thailand restaurant.
until it was time for dinner den we go to our destination , den roy say wanna 7+ den eat , so we go outside and talk about stuff on our primary school , racks up soo many memories lorz!!! so memorable!!lol den suddenly roy and i talk about someone but we jus could not remember de name. thus we carrried a frustrating mind to go eat at da restaurant my friend intro-ed. de dish overall is not bad , i like it but de chili is veri spicy. and finally after de dinner we finally thought wad is de name of da person we were talkin about but de person we were thinking of is two diff person lol seriously lack of MO QI.next we go home liaoz
END
next outing with roy was on de 11june , 11june was on wed and when friends or any1 called me out on this day i would need to make a tough decision between my mun and de person i wanna to go out with .alwayz on wed , it is my mum's only off from work day in the week , so on wed i need to go out with her , not my mum force me go or something , is jus could make me feel better this way. But in the end i still went out with roy , starting i kinda of regret going out with him , but slowly i forgotten about it =P
we decide to go to AMK , purpose ? dunno. walk walk . on de way there , we started to talk about de stuff on our primary school once again , this time we again thought of someone but we just could not figure it out who is it. and again with a frustrating mind we proceed to eating lunch , for lunch guess wad did we ate, we ate curry puff!!!! lol i ate 4 currypuffs!!! so nice!!! yuummmyyy 3 from A1 1 one old changkee , alll soo nice!!! btw there is something da made me soo angry!!! when i was eating my currying puff while walking to finding a seat to sit down to eat , a weird looking old guy wearing a black Tee with a hat suddenly jus went past me and said ....'' HEY BOY YOU VERY FAT AND CURRY PUFF HAS ALOT OF FAT AND CALORIES STOP EATING IS UNHEALTHLY'' ......
i
was
stunned....
i stood rooted there and watched his shadow jus geting out of my sight. i was really shocked , i tot he was going to ask something but in de end.....haizz sad SAD !!!my whole day was ruined!!!! hate da person!!! i where got fat sia I FAT MAH!!! FAT MAH?! ANY1 PLS TELL ME DA I AM NOT!!! PLS!!!! AHHHHH GOING CRAZY LIAOZZZ.... I AM NOT FATTT!!! CRY*
after i tot about it , i think da , da person is probably speaking from self-experience ba , he is wearing a hat probably he had no hair due to some medical treatments ba , jus take in de curry puff has alot of fat and stuff lorz BUT I STILL WILL NOT ADMIT DA I AM FAT!! I AM NOT!!
after everything , we went back home and on de way home we finally remember da person's name , jus like de same as de previous outing lol!!! and roy said '' let dun do this anymore , our brain cell are dying and our brain juice are running out'' lol
den when we were taking de train baack home , de train da we were inside suddenly announced da all passenger are to alight at de next stop. i was like WTH???!!! many question marks in my mind , is not as if it was de terminal or something , i was at yishun lorz sianzz den we hav to wait another train , den de train come but there are alot of people so we decide to wait another one , another train came , and da train cannot be board , it is de same thing as de previous train we took , den we waited another one , den still got alot of people , den de other come ,but de train cannot be board!!! den finally we dun care liaoz jus take de next train go home , we were like waiting there almost 30min or more liaoz....how dumb we are....-.-
den we took de same bus , walk de same road and go home!!! btw he is living jus opposite me!!
overall : this outing is a veri enjoyable one , veri enjoy it better den my sec friends ba , roy is veri busy but i think da my friends are much busier den roy lorz , even if they are free they still will not go oout with me ... as alwayz lorz
a LP forever =)zzz
anyway one that day , we went to jurong point. motive going there? nothing, go there for fun. firstly, we went to buy de [SHILIN]stuff , i bought a muchroom cheese egg crep!!!! my favourite food!!! simply jus soo nice!!! yummy. while roy bought de XXL chicken thingy , and he also told de person to add more chilli and in de end , de whole chicken is soo spicy and hot , roy eat until de tears like gonnna come out lorz so funny .
den de first shop we went was de book store , he went to de sport section while i went to de biography section. skip skip skip i go to de CD shop lorz never buy any thing jus window shopping , quite sianz la but as long time nevr go out with him liaoz den i nvm lorz. actually we go jurong is to jus waste time nia la , to waste time until it was time for dinner , cause he say he wanna intro me go eat at novena , a malaysian or thailand restaurant.
until it was time for dinner den we go to our destination , den roy say wanna 7+ den eat , so we go outside and talk about stuff on our primary school , racks up soo many memories lorz!!! so memorable!!lol den suddenly roy and i talk about someone but we jus could not remember de name. thus we carrried a frustrating mind to go eat at da restaurant my friend intro-ed. de dish overall is not bad , i like it but de chili is veri spicy. and finally after de dinner we finally thought wad is de name of da person we were talkin about but de person we were thinking of is two diff person lol seriously lack of MO QI.next we go home liaoz
END
next outing with roy was on de 11june , 11june was on wed and when friends or any1 called me out on this day i would need to make a tough decision between my mun and de person i wanna to go out with .alwayz on wed , it is my mum's only off from work day in the week , so on wed i need to go out with her , not my mum force me go or something , is jus could make me feel better this way. But in the end i still went out with roy , starting i kinda of regret going out with him , but slowly i forgotten about it =P
we decide to go to AMK , purpose ? dunno. walk walk . on de way there , we started to talk about de stuff on our primary school once again , this time we again thought of someone but we just could not figure it out who is it. and again with a frustrating mind we proceed to eating lunch , for lunch guess wad did we ate, we ate curry puff!!!! lol i ate 4 currypuffs!!! so nice!!! yuummmyyy 3 from A1 1 one old changkee , alll soo nice!!! btw there is something da made me soo angry!!! when i was eating my currying puff while walking to finding a seat to sit down to eat , a weird looking old guy wearing a black Tee with a hat suddenly jus went past me and said ....'' HEY BOY YOU VERY FAT AND CURRY PUFF HAS ALOT OF FAT AND CALORIES STOP EATING IS UNHEALTHLY'' ......
i
was
stunned....
i stood rooted there and watched his shadow jus geting out of my sight. i was really shocked , i tot he was going to ask something but in de end.....haizz sad SAD !!!my whole day was ruined!!!! hate da person!!! i where got fat sia I FAT MAH!!! FAT MAH?! ANY1 PLS TELL ME DA I AM NOT!!! PLS!!!! AHHHHH GOING CRAZY LIAOZZZ.... I AM NOT FATTT!!! CRY*
after i tot about it , i think da , da person is probably speaking from self-experience ba , he is wearing a hat probably he had no hair due to some medical treatments ba , jus take in de curry puff has alot of fat and stuff lorz BUT I STILL WILL NOT ADMIT DA I AM FAT!! I AM NOT!!
after everything , we went back home and on de way home we finally remember da person's name , jus like de same as de previous outing lol!!! and roy said '' let dun do this anymore , our brain cell are dying and our brain juice are running out'' lol
den when we were taking de train baack home , de train da we were inside suddenly announced da all passenger are to alight at de next stop. i was like WTH???!!! many question marks in my mind , is not as if it was de terminal or something , i was at yishun lorz sianzz den we hav to wait another train , den de train come but there are alot of people so we decide to wait another one , another train came , and da train cannot be board , it is de same thing as de previous train we took , den we waited another one , den still got alot of people , den de other come ,but de train cannot be board!!! den finally we dun care liaoz jus take de next train go home , we were like waiting there almost 30min or more liaoz....how dumb we are....-.-
den we took de same bus , walk de same road and go home!!! btw he is living jus opposite me!!
overall : this outing is a veri enjoyable one , veri enjoy it better den my sec friends ba , roy is veri busy but i think da my friends are much busier den roy lorz , even if they are free they still will not go oout with me ... as alwayz lorz
a LP forever =)zzz
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