below is the essay i wrote and i put in quite alot of my effort. please spent sometime reading it and grade it if possible. thank you.
THE TRUTH
Forecast weather in early summer, rendered me getting up reluctantly out of my lovely dreamland, however, the slamming of doors sounded somewhere around my house. The sound echoed in my ear and gradually traveled to my brain to give it a vigorous shake. Recovering from the tremendous shake, curiosity got the better of me to find out about that galling commotion just now. Just as I was going to rant about things, I realized that commotion was caused by my only kin – my big brother, who was late for work. Simmering down, I turned ninety degree to my left and faced my favorite policeman-designed clock which my brother gave it to me during my 18th birthday. With blurry vision, I realized it was time for yet another day of adventure at work.
It started raining cats and dogs as I sat in my car, on the way to my destination- the police station. My brother has a best friend and they were extremely close, to the extend of being close than a real family. His name was Lien. The weather worsens, as if the god was fuming. I dashed into my office table as soon as I reached my destination. I started arranging my documents without realizing that the torrential of rain spoilt my phone. Feeling close to a derangement, I tried to suppress and continued looking through those documents which was piled like a mountain.
All of a sudden , my eye-brow twitched , my heart started racing and a loud explosive noise by the thunder sounded , rendered me panicked and knocked down the photo frame which intact a photograph of my me and my brother. The glass of photo frame instantly shattered into thousands of pieces as soon as it smashed onto the floor. As if hinting that out relationship was in trouble
Regardless being superstitious or bad omen, I decided to contact my brother to ensure everything was fine. Trembling uncontrollably, I had my grip on the phone on my office table and I started to dial the number. Each number pad seems to have spike on it, brutally piercing through me, my heart especially when I press the. My phone call was divert to voicemail , that moment I realized that something must have gone terribly wrong because my brother would always be contactable regardless what happened. In the end, something further confirmed my hunch was right.
The police station was in chaos, everyone was packing their staff to go somewhere. Frantically, I asked them what happened however, no one realized my existence. With fear slowly creeping in, my tears welled up in my eye. Finally, someone delivered the message to me, saying that my brother was in trouble and that everyone is rushing to the crime scene. I held back my emotions and only thought about getting to the scene as soon as possible, however, the reverence to lose my only had me torn and paralyzed.
It was a excruciating painful journey before I reached my destination. Views outside my car window pane were converted into memories and flashbacks of the wonderful moments I had with my brother. However, one by one the fragments of memories and flashback started shattering into pieces. Each shattered memories, slowly build up the dreading thoughts and the worst outcome in my heart. At last, I reached my destination; the scene was in total havoc. Time seems to slow down as I pushed everyone who was in my way , all I could hear was my breath and the question being asked in repetition in my heart, saying , ‘what on earth happened my brother?!’
Eventually, the crowd created a pathway for the lunatic person to pass through which was me. As the crowd dispersed, at last, I am able to set my vision on my brother.
My brother was as if wearing a beautiful bright red suit, lying on a garden of stunningly gorgeous rose. My vision was shaking, it started to get blurry, all my senses paralyzed as I held on firmly to brother’s remaining while the medical team carried him away. I had lost myself together with my brother, those memories we share, my smile and my humanity had vanished and departed together with him. I am left all alone and the reason for me to live was gone. I let out a heart-rending wail; I knelt to the ground and bagged the medical team to leave my brother as I stubbornly held onto my brother. The medical team ignored my existence and carried on moving. I tripped over a rock, smashed on the floor, finally let go of my grip and watched my only kin leaving me forever.
The crowded split and I was left lying on the pool of blood, imagining that my brother was with me. It was absolutely tormenting, my left upper chest seemed to be tearing from inside out. Rain kept pouring over me , every part of me was covered in red but I am still laughing heartily as I ridiculously imagined my brother was hugging me, everything fast forward and I found myself in hospital unconscious for 2days, my colleague then delivered the news that the case of my brother was closed as a suicide case. That very moment, I have a strong resentment in me, I deplored and I enclosed my teeth so hard that it started bleeding. However it was all in vain, in the end, I threw away my position and I decided to investigate this case privately.
I was determined that my brother will never abandon me and my stands were firmed that he was murdered. No one believed me except Lien .To my surprised; he was admitted to the hospital due to severe head damage and had lost parts of his memory. I visited him, told him every single thing and he had the same agonized expression I had.
I started my investigation and I headed to the crime scene hopefully to find clues. I searched high and low however it was futile just like searching needle in the vast ocean. Finally, my effort was not in vain, I found dried blood stains along the stairway, I followed it and I was lead to a key chain that was hidden at the corner. Horror struck me as I picked up the key chain and discovered that the key chain belongs to Lien as the name was carved on it. Dumbfounded and feeling fishy, I knew I have to sort things clear somehow. I was already taken over by vengeance and blinded by revenge; it made me into suspecting anyone including my closest friend.
The water in my hand phone had evaporated and it can use again. The moment I turned on my hand phone, it showed 10missed calls and voicemail. Those were all from Lien. I open the voicemail and I realized it was the key to the whole truth. The voicemail was chaotic as if lien had forgotten to hand the phone and changed to voicemail unintentionally. The voicemail was chaotic; however, I am able to tell that piece voice was from Lien and my brother. They were having a conversation but I am unable to hear the content of their conversation. At the midst of the conversation, the serene background turned violent, the monotone conversation instantly become a vehement argument and I can feel the wrath from their voices. As soon as curiosity bombarded in my mind, something destroyed all my thoughts and numbed my limbs. There sounded a hysterically beyond humanity screech and it finally ended with a blaring bang. I was finally pushed over the edge, I let out a monstrous roar containing all my emotions and I knelt to the ground being dissed and torn once again. I grabbed my pistol and dashed to the restaurant where I supposed to meet lien. Lien said that he had something important to tell me and little did he know that he was having the last moment on earth.
I reached the posh restaurant and saw Lien wholeheartedly stood up and welcome the monster who was going to kill him. I was trembling as I raised my gun , not in fear but in excitement and the desire to take revenge. I was devoured by vengeance. without hesitation , I shot him at his stomach. His face instantly turned puzzled and he fell to the ground, hurled himself like ball and screamed in agony. The piercing sound produced from the gun instantly made the classy restaurant chaotic.screams and fear occupied the restaurant. I stepped forward towards lien and pointed the gun at him. Lien frantically trying to explain as he handout out a letter and held onto his stomach in excruciating pain. That moment , all I could see was the scene where I lose my brother. Excitement carved a sadistic grinned on my face and finally I pulled the trigger to end all agony and torture I went through. Lien still holding on the letter and his hands fell onto my foot motionlessly. I picked up the letter and yet another unexpected blow approached me , the truth behind everything
Dear Lucas ,
‘your brother had been in a huge debt due to investment. He always said that he wanted to ensure a best life for you and filling up your death parent’s position. However, such desire rendered him to take extreme measures such as laundering money from the company. As a close friend, I tried persuade him but it was all in vain. He even went to the rooftop and threatened me that he would jump down if I were to report this. I tried to contact you but I wasn’t able to get through you. This is how all these mishap took place. I promised that I will not tell anyone and he finally get up and moved away from the rooftop. As he tried to get up , he lost his balanced and fell off the building, The sight of my best friend helplessly letting out a hysterical cry and vanished in front of me was absolutely hellish for me to look. Without hesitation , I ran down the stairs to look for him , however , I fell and knocked my head in the stairway. I lost my memory and these fragment gradually stick back. Hearing that you were so obsessed with revenge ,I knew I have to tell you the truth before any mishap happen again. I am sincerely sorry for the late truth but just to tell you ,even if your brother is gone , he will still live in our hearts forever. Therefore we should all let go of him and depart in peace.’
After reading, I was lost , I am speechless and my senses stopped responding. I knelt to the ground and placed Lien’s remains on my thigh. That moment , how I wished god exist in front of me and create a miracle. However everything was too late , nothing could be done and nothing is revertible anymore. Helplessly , all I did to cry my eyes out. Then a desire in me howled in my ear saying that I must do something to make amendment. Foolish thought took control of my body as I lift the gun and placed the gun at my forehead. I was ready to waved goodbye to this world then , a order called out ‘put the gun down this instant’ . I opened my eyes, noticed I was being pulled down by the policeman and I was then taken to jail soon after that.
This story was written before my death penalty and hopefully this story will have the power to stop the evil desire to create such mishap again.
