me birthday todayz 15years on earth

every birthday i will feel very disappointed nevertheless to say about this birth , reason being is because , during every birthday , i would alwayz look back , looking this one whole year wad have i achieve , but sadly i had achieved nothing . plus my MYE also made me more disapointed. some people are growing every year , every birthday , why can't i? haizz. jus feeling very hollow inside.....

jus feeling random to post fangkong's picture no reasons



my 15year old birthday , is not as good as last year's one. but instead i felt better.....i owned [them]quite alot and i never repay them , so i guess staying like da is better ba. anyway i also dun hav any friends mah , also no diff . really i would rather it stay this way . jus say happy B'day and i am okay liaoz.


MUS'S
15 years old liaoz mus BE MORE HAPPY
15 years old liaoz mus BE MORE POSITIVE
15 years old liaoz mus STUDY HARD
15 years old liaoz mus AT LEAST ACHIEVE SOMETHING
15 years old liaoz mus BE STRONG
15 years old liaoz mus LOSE WEIGHT :p
15 years old liaoz mus SAVE MORE MONEY
15 years old liaoz mus BE MORE SOCIALISED
15 years old liaoz mus MAKE MORE FRIENDS

MUS NOT'S
15 years old liaoz mus NOT CHANGE MY CHARACTER BECAUSE OF OTHER
15 years old liaoz mus NOT CHANGE YOUR OWN PRINCIPAL
15 years old liaoz mus NOT BE THAT EASILY PISS
15 years old liaoz mus NOT BE THAT SLACK ANY MORE

anything to add on , free to add =)

do any1 believe in birthday wishes? if it is real , then it would be great......i have so many bad points in me , wanna change ....but afraid to lose myself ..

lifez

recently i finally realized da i have very little friends around, besides those da u are able to share secrets and alwayz hang out . i have no da kind of friends at all , some people hav friends like da and i meant lots of it. i am absolutely envious. being alone really makes u feel terrible , a feeling da really unable to tell, whenever i am in de class or somewhere doing nothing , i will alwayz imagine myself in de corner of de class , or jump down de building and stuff, even when i am happy. luckily these tots is not likely to happen, i wonder why i think all these stuff, probably is because of ''lonely'' in other words ''solo''. i am really lonely , i dun have any friend , i do have, but is not da kind where u could hang out everytime and having de same interest as you. i am really sick and tired of it. i really wonder why......

my friend, limleeling aka triple L somehow told me de answer. she told me da i treat people really badly and to her , i am de worst person she ever met so she told me to treat people nice and others would do the same.....
i
do
not
agree
at
all.......

people who thinks like da , to me simply means da , the world to da kind of person is totally wonderful and he/she had not been thru anything at all. to be able to believe da when u treat people well and people treat u well , probably means da he/she is having a wonderful life or probably she is jus lucky to have all wonderful friends around him/her thus believe all these ''lies''

i strongly disagree with it, i really did treat people well , at least better den people i knew , but in the end i am de biggest loser and people who are totally sickening are de winner . i obtained nothing . not even friends to be able to stick with me instead no one likes me at all even worst some people even hated me. I REALLY WONDER WHY PEOPLE HATED ME, I DID NOTHING TO THEM. PEOPLE JUS GAVE ME STARES AND BLAME TO ME AND I JUS CANNOT GIV IT BACK OR THROW AWAY JUS LIKE PEOPLE GAVE U PRESENT AND U JUS CANNOT NOT ACCEPT OR THROWING IT AWAY JUS HAV TO KEEEP TO MYSELF LORZ....

maybe i am expecting too much , probably de society is not worth for me to hav soo high expectation on it....

trying to stay cheerful =)

there is really many many things that had happened these days , from heaven drop to earth , from something become zero . confidents and everything had been smashed for many people including me ofcourse. i had been really devastated , i felt totally terrible , i felt da is really over , everyone had given up and dun care about me liaoz. i really wanted to stay emo for de rest of de days in school till de holiday but thx to my two friends , they pulled me out of the darkness and made me feel better. i realized that being happy is sooo easy , jus change ur mind abit and wad u see might be better and much positive. But still , i am not confident how long is this positive attitude is gonna last. emo entries/posts will be post again i can confirm and i will fall into a turmoil once again , thinking negatively and stuff. i think i had failed every single subject. i had somehow gonna over it already , still having scars but healing in process =)

another reason why it made me soo cheerful now is probably wad my math teacher said . firstly he listed out the whole lvl's result and in de end our class is worst den de normal student and guess wad , de normal students are taking de same express paper as us and they are somehow better den us . they have at least 1 passes but my class hav zero. zzz anyway de main thing he said was , when he was our age in sec 3 , he face de same problem as us , he said da he have alot of problem get used to sec3 life, he added that sec 3 life is really a big differents , many things can happened there , normal technical students promote to express , express drop to normal . everything is possible to happen , especially in sec 3. my teacher also said that he failed his subject also in his MYE sciences math and A math all fail , this statement made me feel veri kinda not da stress and unhappy about my result, he shared with us methods of studying especially during exam preparations . anyway he is a veri talkative teacher and luv to talk big stuff about life and so on but i feel that some points of his really ticked me and made me feel something which is good and positive. i have a feeling that the teacher is also gonna made a good impact in my life too.i am feeling better and have a clearer mind of wad i really wanted and how am i surpose to achieve it so jia you!!!


everyone graduated from secondary school life would alwayz say da secondary life is de best. and i really dun wanna leave a bad memory in my secondary life. i wanna made a impact and cherish de times i have especially with my friends nonetheless all my situ family......

NOTHING

NOTHING is probably the word to decribe my mood this week . feeling super empty inside , dunno wad to do.....mainly is because of my exam marks. i am sure da i feel this way before and i remeber very clearly da i had super bad time and i promised myself to do well de next one. *CRAP HATE MYSELF LIKE THAT!!! CANNOT EVEN FULFIL A SLIGHT THING . NOTHING!! AGAIN I DID NOT DO WELL IN MY EXAM , I HAD SEEN 3 SUB OF MY MARKS LIAOZ , AND I DID NOT DID WELL ,AND BECAUSE OF IT ,MY CONFIDENT FALL TERRIBLY . I DO NOT EVEN DARE TO WISH FOR ANYTHING , I JUS HOPE DA A SLIGHT PASS WILL JUS DO 4 ME. i am really afraid....haizz CRIED CRIED CRIED. wanna cry , wanna broke down but i cannot do that anymore , i knew da once i do that ''something bad'' will happened. haizz cheer ba. forcing out smile ....how fake....but i guess it is for my own good ba, i cannot be myself due to some reasons , probably people who know me well or feel the same way as me might know the reason. but i dun think there is such person at all haizz. haven achieved a single thing yet. stress , disgusted by myself , sickening , useless.....

50th post woohoooo

lol i dun think anyone would be like me horz, 50th post make until so ''grand'' lol . anyway today is quite a special day cause , theres is one new member in my house !! de new member is a RABBIT !! actually my parent dun allow pets wan lorz, den yesteday when my sis was teaching me math , she suddenly told me da she wanna buy rabbit , den i was like WTF?! no way u mus go pass mom first . den she say aiya never mind la we buy first den later den say la. indeed , today afterday she bought liaoz, den my mom was like hopping mad lor. lol sometimes wonder why parent dun allow pets.....

summary about my exam so far....
i am totally not confident about my exam at all lorz... especially my math ,today i have my MATH paper 1 den i think i did kinda badly lorz...after da exam i went to de study corner and saw seemun and yh revising geo which is de next exam . when i saw themi dunno why la feel damn sad lorz , i feel da i put soo much effort on my math but in de end , de question that is in de exam are all stuff da i either never learn or i forgot....haizzz i hope it won't be as devastating as last year ba....

wish* mus be strong , smile and be happy every single day!!! most importantly say positive =) jia you !!!

today i come across one show . In the show theres two woman talking and their conversation
leave quite a deep impression on my mind . firstly de first woman(FW) ask de second woman(SW) which is married, she ask, after u have married ,when did ur husband fart in front of you the veri first time? SW replied after two years . FW continued , average human being lifespan is about 90+ which means that if u are married with da person at de age of maybe 25 , it means da u gonna tolerate de fart for about 60+ years , so why because of de first two years of love and tolerate de 60years+ of fart? so money overall is more important den love .de SW only said one sentence to counter all de FW said '' reason being why people are able to tolerate 60 years of fart is because of de first two years of love in their relationships that is why love is much superior den money... ''

so who do u agree??