i love the sky, because it is like baby blue being splashed onto the never ending sheet, decorated by a plain white puffy mustache. although is plain , but to a person that had went through the chaotic world and barely alive , this was really adequate for my numbered days.
i raised my arms , shoved it up the sky and stretched my hands wide.Ironically , i imagined myself catching the serenity in the sky .closing my eyes, I pictured the heavenly platform deep inside those white puffy clouds which is covered with a striking gold and i stood on top of it , looking down.There, i saw my beloved ones-my mother, my father and my friends.However gradually , their images were wiped out from my sight. Feeling stunned and shuddered, i opened my eyes and realized i was still living in this world of cruelty where my beloved ones had left me forever.
despite living for 20years i had no acheivements nor anything to show off. all my beloved ones were killed by a cold-blooded murderer. i can still remember the already-lost-sanity expression of his , glaring, piercing through me and triggered the deepest fear in me. he killed them in front of me , however whenever i recalled back , i would have a sense of nostalgia and the hatred in me towards the murderer would be evaporated. it will then changed into a sentence that hit into my mind in repetition saying ''they deserve it ''
i can still feel the breaking of their rib cage as the knife stabbed through them. The collision and sound made between the bones and the knife triggers the excitement in me which gave me a indescribable pleasure. their excruciating pain that gave out the beyond humanity screech gave me even more satisfaction. And how would i know those feelings? oh ya i remembered why.
they said that i am insane and they threw me into a dark enclosed place , just like a cavern. till now i am still dumbfounded about the mistakes i did and having to deserve all these punishment. i am only trying to search for satisfaction , what have i done wrong? haha maybe i AM really mad , where is the blue sky i claimed ?
FINALLY A SHORT ESSAY!!! HAHA COMMENT AND RATE =))
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
peace negotiation? haha... yeah indeed.
Is been long since i post and little did i know that this post would be writing about them. waste of my effort and lowering MY level indeed . In this post , i know it would bring even more unhappiness and probably misfortune for me and my gang.However, in my view, they seems to be treating the term ''helping my friend'' or ''loyalty to friends'' as something extremely crucial, probably something more important than their studies.
with this mindsets , they tend to take actions , well , stupid action in my view and, to be childish , i shall write this post then.
therefore , if u dun wish your day to be ruined by my post or feeling resented , do not see this because i would not entertain you and waste my time again negotiating with people like ....well, fill in the blank yourself.
The matter that was once burning hot seems to be ended by the blaring sound made by the slamming door and having vulgar filling up the classroom.
thinking back , i find that this matter was practically amusing. In fact , even before the ''negotiation'' i've already treated this matter as something lame and something that was a waste of time, apparently , giving me the image that they 吃饱没事干. seriously , after that matter i wonder and literally hitting my head , blaming for my stupidity to entertain them.
when the negotiation started , they claimed that their wanted to have a peace negotiation and having said that , after a few seconds , i thought i heard a long strings of vulgar shooting out from nowhere. i swallowed it and the negotiation started. gradually, i could felt their anger and how they irate by each passing seconds and that was when i realized that peace negotiation was actually piss negotiation hmmm guess was our fault for not sorting out clearly is it piss? or peace?
in my mind , i pictured that the negotiation was supposed to be between situ and ass-p. in the end , we were outnumbered by the KPO negotiation of jiawei and jinkai. i dun care if you are part of the whole incident or the root of this matter but i strongly believed that such matter should be discuss between US and not outsiders like u. having said that , evidently we were left speechless , not because they were right but what i feel was because their bombarding of questions and having sheralin being sandwiched by two matters 2gether which rendered her dumbfounded and in the end , speechless. i trust sheralin and hopefully every thing she said was the truth and no more secret was hidden.
this negotiation was not fair and to be frank , this post isn't fair to you guys either. basically everyone had a stand in them, a firm and stubborn one. example for kah shin , before the negotiation , she already have a extremely bad image about sheralin therefore, in her heart , sheralin was already sculptured as something despicable and flirtatious. hence , no matter what sheralin had said , even it is right it would never washed away the bad image of her and of course kah shin , with her stubborn personality , she will deplored and fight back using the bad image of sheralin in her heart.
one more thing that irk me and really maddens me was the carefree attitude and not-my-fault character in samuel. seriously , when talking about two SS matter (sam and shera) the face of samuel , so carefree and acting dumb really gets onto my nerve. a clap would not sound if two hands doesn't meet , this matter , i did felt that sheralin was really in fault however , the biggest sinner was actually samuel. As a position of hearing one sided story , i felt that samuel was really the biggest jerk on earth.Basically , he pushes the blame to sheralin and acts like a complete imbecile in the negotation. A new word i recently learnt , ''doughebag'' , would be the most unharmed word to describe him , plausibly even ''fucker'' would not be enough. With the limited vocab i had , i'm unable to vent my anger through the beauty of writing.
with samuel's carefree , with kah shin's stubborn and with our speechless , they reduced sheralin into someone bitchy and had throughly humilated her which also humilated our gang indirectly. after all the unreasonable by them , i swallowed every moment that we've been humilated and in the end i have to swallow my pride , reducing my own level so that i will keep a cool head till the very end. i dun wish to act so babaric like them and reduced into someone of their level. What rendered me into writing this post was not all these ludicrous thing but the slamming of doors , the sight of watching their arrogant backs and leaving us hanging in the classroom really pisses me off ,even to the extend that i almost threw away my brain and attempt to confront them face to face , and i really mean face to face like 5cm away .
before the negotiation , in fact , even before the whole SS matter came into my ears, frankly speaking , i wanted to go back to situ. however 2day , i have to say that i've seen a different side of kahshin , someone that had no respect for one and literally pelting insults and her own stands on other people. despite this , the mentality of going back to situ haven changed however , with all these matter , it will be impossible to happen , even if it happens , it definitely will not be the same...
stop racking up the past and using it as a ability to defend and attack because it is degrading for you.
*sorry for tolerating my poor english standards and thanks for reading till the end.
with this mindsets , they tend to take actions , well , stupid action in my view and, to be childish , i shall write this post then.
therefore , if u dun wish your day to be ruined by my post or feeling resented , do not see this because i would not entertain you and waste my time again negotiating with people like ....well, fill in the blank yourself.
The matter that was once burning hot seems to be ended by the blaring sound made by the slamming door and having vulgar filling up the classroom.
thinking back , i find that this matter was practically amusing. In fact , even before the ''negotiation'' i've already treated this matter as something lame and something that was a waste of time, apparently , giving me the image that they 吃饱没事干. seriously , after that matter i wonder and literally hitting my head , blaming for my stupidity to entertain them.
when the negotiation started , they claimed that their wanted to have a peace negotiation and having said that , after a few seconds , i thought i heard a long strings of vulgar shooting out from nowhere. i swallowed it and the negotiation started. gradually, i could felt their anger and how they irate by each passing seconds and that was when i realized that peace negotiation was actually piss negotiation hmmm guess was our fault for not sorting out clearly is it piss? or peace?
in my mind , i pictured that the negotiation was supposed to be between situ and ass-p. in the end , we were outnumbered by the KPO negotiation of jiawei and jinkai. i dun care if you are part of the whole incident or the root of this matter but i strongly believed that such matter should be discuss between US and not outsiders like u. having said that , evidently we were left speechless , not because they were right but what i feel was because their bombarding of questions and having sheralin being sandwiched by two matters 2gether which rendered her dumbfounded and in the end , speechless. i trust sheralin and hopefully every thing she said was the truth and no more secret was hidden.
this negotiation was not fair and to be frank , this post isn't fair to you guys either. basically everyone had a stand in them, a firm and stubborn one. example for kah shin , before the negotiation , she already have a extremely bad image about sheralin therefore, in her heart , sheralin was already sculptured as something despicable and flirtatious. hence , no matter what sheralin had said , even it is right it would never washed away the bad image of her and of course kah shin , with her stubborn personality , she will deplored and fight back using the bad image of sheralin in her heart.
one more thing that irk me and really maddens me was the carefree attitude and not-my-fault character in samuel. seriously , when talking about two SS matter (sam and shera) the face of samuel , so carefree and acting dumb really gets onto my nerve. a clap would not sound if two hands doesn't meet , this matter , i did felt that sheralin was really in fault however , the biggest sinner was actually samuel. As a position of hearing one sided story , i felt that samuel was really the biggest jerk on earth.Basically , he pushes the blame to sheralin and acts like a complete imbecile in the negotation. A new word i recently learnt , ''doughebag'' , would be the most unharmed word to describe him , plausibly even ''fucker'' would not be enough. With the limited vocab i had , i'm unable to vent my anger through the beauty of writing.
with samuel's carefree , with kah shin's stubborn and with our speechless , they reduced sheralin into someone bitchy and had throughly humilated her which also humilated our gang indirectly. after all the unreasonable by them , i swallowed every moment that we've been humilated and in the end i have to swallow my pride , reducing my own level so that i will keep a cool head till the very end. i dun wish to act so babaric like them and reduced into someone of their level. What rendered me into writing this post was not all these ludicrous thing but the slamming of doors , the sight of watching their arrogant backs and leaving us hanging in the classroom really pisses me off ,even to the extend that i almost threw away my brain and attempt to confront them face to face , and i really mean face to face like 5cm away .
before the negotiation , in fact , even before the whole SS matter came into my ears, frankly speaking , i wanted to go back to situ. however 2day , i have to say that i've seen a different side of kahshin , someone that had no respect for one and literally pelting insults and her own stands on other people. despite this , the mentality of going back to situ haven changed however , with all these matter , it will be impossible to happen , even if it happens , it definitely will not be the same...
stop racking up the past and using it as a ability to defend and attack because it is degrading for you.
*sorry for tolerating my poor english standards and thanks for reading till the end.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
RANDOM PIXX!!!!!
fk evolved !!!! into....FK...lamebig diff horz scary sia.
''what cha looking at'' reply - '' a fat playboy lying down''
showing off hahas!!! abalone!! hehehhahah
my collections of hats woohoo
JIA YOU!!!!! CAN DO IT DE =))
EVEN A SMALL TICKET KNOWS HOW TO BE HAPPY AND WHY CAN'T WE?
DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE OF HAPPY AND DIFFERENT EXPECTATION TO BE HAPPY WHY THINK SO MUCH? JUST BE HAPPY!!!!
HAHA REALLY RANDOM HORZ , EHH THIS IS MY ROOM =) NICE HORZ
LIAR GAME!!!! NICE DRAMA!!!! BIG HIT IN JAP !!! MUST WATCH HEHEHE
BEFORETADA!!! fk WHEN HE IS YOUNG HEHEHEHAHA
Thursday, April 08, 2010
BOOOOAAAAAA!!!!!! AHHH
THE ORIGINAL VIDEO!!!!
VIDEO ONLY WITH THE DANCE AND THIS ALSO THE DANCE I WANNA LEARN!!!!! LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE BUT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE RIGHT? HEHEHEHE
FROM THE SAME ALBUM - IDENTITY =) - WHITE WISHES =) ENJOY !!!
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
i regretted going for that Chong Pang food race....
despite knowing the fact that i'm gonna face the fear in my heart -facing a bunch of strangers. i still decide to participate in that. probably i'm treating it as a test for my sp , to see if it gets better or something.
when reached our destination , my heart dreads even more by each passing seconds. my face started twitching uncontrollably , my hands are glued to my face trying to hide my awkward expressions and i started to change to silent mode as if trying to act invisible.
from silent mode , i was converted to vibrate mode when i heard it was time to meet my unknown group mates i'm gonna work with for 3hours or so. i was literally shaking as if a 7.0++ earthquake is happening in my body.
the moment i met them , i quickly hid all my emotions but it is flawed. awkward silent for a moment, i stared and them and they did the same. Fortunately the parent volunteer break the stiff atmosphere by cracking a joke which gave me a (-.-) in my heart.
stumbling and trembling , i voiced out my very first sentence to them. clearing my throat , i started discuss with them about the admin stuff about the game. i was really at the edge that moment , the sp is as if devouring every limbs of me and taking over my body. the fear in my heart was indescribable. thank god , the parent volunteer have totally no problem with socializing hence all the social matter was all given to her and of course i was as if a loyal dog that keeps quiet by the owner side practically for the whole event.
For the whole event , i was disappointed in myself and apologetic for my team mates. i felt apologetic was because i dare not voiced out therefore i'm unable to asist them in any of the station which rendered them not getting any position in the end. as for disappointment , i was disappointed how useless i performed at that event and gradually that disappointment was converted to anger , i was fuming.
after everything ended , i changed myself from vibrate mode to silent mode. on the way back , i sat alone, listen to my songs and hoping that that might settle my emotions a bit....
even when reached school , the anger in me still didn't suppress at all and this emotion practically glued my lips together and keeping shut.
my friends noticed something amiss and dare not talk to me at all , in the end , i decide to wear a mask and talk to them.
my friends wanted to go 815 coffee shop to have their dinner , oh ya btw , that time was already 6+ and everyone was really exhausted therefore it gave me more reason to show such moody expression. And guess what, after the anger i temporary suppress, another thing happened and my day was officially ruined.
on the way to 815 i fell into the drain -.- yeah I FELL INTO THE DRAIN!!!! YES U DIDN'T SEE WRONGLY!!! I FELL -.- .
my bones was smashed onto the wall of the drain and i think i could feel my bone being crushed lorz.
that day was really the worst day ever....it sucks....whatsmore , when i told my family that i fell , all they did was laugh their ass off -.- arghhhh i still having the huge bump protruding my leg that hurts so much!!!! -.- hope they just die of laughing -.-
despite knowing the fact that i'm gonna face the fear in my heart -facing a bunch of strangers. i still decide to participate in that. probably i'm treating it as a test for my sp , to see if it gets better or something.
when reached our destination , my heart dreads even more by each passing seconds. my face started twitching uncontrollably , my hands are glued to my face trying to hide my awkward expressions and i started to change to silent mode as if trying to act invisible.
from silent mode , i was converted to vibrate mode when i heard it was time to meet my unknown group mates i'm gonna work with for 3hours or so. i was literally shaking as if a 7.0++ earthquake is happening in my body.
the moment i met them , i quickly hid all my emotions but it is flawed. awkward silent for a moment, i stared and them and they did the same. Fortunately the parent volunteer break the stiff atmosphere by cracking a joke which gave me a (-.-) in my heart.
stumbling and trembling , i voiced out my very first sentence to them. clearing my throat , i started discuss with them about the admin stuff about the game. i was really at the edge that moment , the sp is as if devouring every limbs of me and taking over my body. the fear in my heart was indescribable. thank god , the parent volunteer have totally no problem with socializing hence all the social matter was all given to her and of course i was as if a loyal dog that keeps quiet by the owner side practically for the whole event.
For the whole event , i was disappointed in myself and apologetic for my team mates. i felt apologetic was because i dare not voiced out therefore i'm unable to asist them in any of the station which rendered them not getting any position in the end. as for disappointment , i was disappointed how useless i performed at that event and gradually that disappointment was converted to anger , i was fuming.
after everything ended , i changed myself from vibrate mode to silent mode. on the way back , i sat alone, listen to my songs and hoping that that might settle my emotions a bit....
even when reached school , the anger in me still didn't suppress at all and this emotion practically glued my lips together and keeping shut.
my friends noticed something amiss and dare not talk to me at all , in the end , i decide to wear a mask and talk to them.
my friends wanted to go 815 coffee shop to have their dinner , oh ya btw , that time was already 6+ and everyone was really exhausted therefore it gave me more reason to show such moody expression. And guess what, after the anger i temporary suppress, another thing happened and my day was officially ruined.
on the way to 815 i fell into the drain -.- yeah I FELL INTO THE DRAIN!!!! YES U DIDN'T SEE WRONGLY!!! I FELL -.- .
my bones was smashed onto the wall of the drain and i think i could feel my bone being crushed lorz.
that day was really the worst day ever....it sucks....whatsmore , when i told my family that i fell , all they did was laugh their ass off -.- arghhhh i still having the huge bump protruding my leg that hurts so much!!!! -.- hope they just die of laughing -.-
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