right now or rather, after i've collected my result, i've been really lost.
looking at my result it derives, the incompetency of myself and self-disappointment
however, i do not seems to regret to the things i did for the preparation of my O level that rendered my result. maybe it because i've given off my best? or maybe i've long given up on my studies.

As usual, i did not achieve wad i want- to enter a JC. That moment when i looked at the points i had, i was dumbfounded and was in utter despair. And those emotion den pulls the trigger of my tears, making it falls uncontrollably.

not going to JC and unable to achieve what i wanted again , was the initial thought i had. however, what comes after that was more fear and more tears jerking days for me.

the selection of my poly course was tough. firstly, there are ain't any course i'm interested secondly, even if there is, the COP of that course made it impossible for me to enter. therefore, it was really a dilemma during the selection.

the fear also comes from the selection of my course too. the fear of my bleak future, the fear of being looked down by others and the fear of being lost again sprang out and occupied every corner of my mind.

all i wanted for my life was to be a successful singer and perform for the rest of my life. but this dream seems so small yet too ambitious for me to achieve. i do not know how to pursue my dream. i've made and uploaded videos on youtube and comments from those youtuber were pretty two-sided. This then made me realised that my voice ain't special enough to make me standout from the countless number of people who wanted to be a singer as well. with this, my dream to be a successful singer became even more far-fetched.

despite so, i still want to be a singer but i'm already at the tenterhook to giving up though.

well, to say what i'm feeling now, i'm probably in consternation.....